XOXOXO

2012-01-10T23:52:00.001+08:00

This kept me sanely awake for the past week. Heh.

Late snack, anyone?

2011-12-31T02:31:00.001+08:00

Too sleepy to blog on but I have this plan in mind to make whoever is reading this hungry :D

Pizza from Nora, Wei Jia, Jill & Jason from the premium care centre on Xmas (:

LOGCAKE HUNT

2011-12-21T13:52:00.001+08:00

Reservations for our free logcake from Capitaland mall! :D

Things that make me happy (:

2011-12-21T06:01:00.001+08:00

Loots of the month! Ended up with all these cause I couldn't make up my mind :D

& adding onto my collection in the wardrobe, hello 4s (:

Goodnight, ☃

2011-12-21T05:42:00.002+08:00

Finally done with the new layout and off to bed! (:
Posts up tomorrow since I can start blogging off my iPhone :D

♥

2011-12-21T04:17:00.001+08:00

Finally downloaded blogger on my iPhone! (:

2011-12-21T04:16:00.001+08:00

"The shortest distance between U and I ♥"

2011-12-21T03:55:00.000+08:00

reviving in progress with eyes glued to the dreamweaver screen.
Im sleepy! ):

INSECURE.

2011-04-15T02:11:00.002+08:00

It’s another night when I finally get to settle down right in front of the laptop that is current a FUJITSU-MADE-TO-BE, credits to Uncle Hong aka Hong Xuhao who gifted my Asus laptop a Fujitsu Garskin makeover so that I could use it in 07. This reminds me of my disappointment that day when our dear Peixuan and I went up to Challenger with COLD HARD CASH in search for the S6421 and there turned out to be no stocks, even the DS was sold which was so goddamn infuriating. That aside, I can’t believe SW and I went to nubox in search for a macbook air, and to think we walked right in from K3’s exit like some APPLETARTS.

I somehow miss being in the sales line, despite loving all that I get to learn in the area of marketing and operations. At times I would wonder how long it has been since I went “Hi, can I help you?” like any other sales personnel did. At times I would wonder how it would be like if I were to go into the retail line again. That said, I would admit that fear has sunken deep enough into me, despite having raced up the sales units table some time ago before I stepped completely into marcomm. I love marcomm, no doubt about that. FEAR. I fear being insecure in an environment that I would have to adapt or re-adapt to. I fear uncertainty. I fear the idea of not knowing my stuff inside out even though these can be learnt / re-learnt. I fear falling back to where I once started out from and I believe this fear engulfs every single human being, in some way or another. We all fear uncertainty, no matter how much we would always anticipate change.

I distinctly remember HS repeating time & again, “the only constant in life is CHANGE.”

Uncertainty and insecurity sink into me at many a times, even though on many occasions I struggle to find the reason behind the insecurity-bound self that rests behind the facade that others see on the outside. I hate it whenever I break down in tears on some occasions when I get overly stressed with everything that is happening around me. I don’t like being sandwiched in situations where you have to take sides (Please do not tell me mashed potato) and I’m just like any other human being that breaks down at one time or another, just like any other girlfriend that would need to cry out at times. I really am trying hard to hold back my tears and trying hard not to lash out at anyone but at times, the situations just turns too stressful and difficult for someone like me to stomach.

It hurts when you said you were tired, tired of the toll that life has brought on you, me & everyone. Too many a times I struggle hard to find the right words and too often, I’ve failed and end up turn frustrated with myself, you, & practically everything that surrounds me. Frustration got up my nerves too much that I had to calm myself that day by doing a stock-take in 07 which left me feeling slightly better. Too often, I know, I get nudged by the feeling that I haven’t done well enough or that what I’ve done isn’t sufficient.

And at the same time, I do know well enough, that I haven’t done enough for you as a girlfriend, being on the receiving end of all my occasional insecurity & stress outbursts. I haven’t done enough, haven’t been good enough. I know I’m weak and I’m trying hard to embrace changes instead of facing things negatively, it’s difficult, but I’m trying. Yet, it has never been sufficient for you.

I’m sorry if this entry turns out to be an emotional one. I really am trying hard to bring myself together under all that I’m facing right now & it isn’t easy.

Goodnight world. Snapshots of life will be up soon (: Y

BABYBUM :D

2011-02-26T03:01:00.002+08:00

I think the bloghost loves procrastinating cause I always procrastinate my blogposts & now it's throwing bitchfits at me by taking it's own sweet time to load. & yes, you're right, I aren't armed with my olympus at this hour for it's sitting in the bedroom so malacca's & random snapshots of life hadn't been uploaded. Apart from that, life had turned a little better, probably because having spent these three years with the smelly bum had gradually made me a little more patient but more whiny than ever :D

And yey, I've gotten my hands on the Xperia X10 HD cause mum mistook x10 mini for the ginormous X10 HD and bought this instead. and i swear i'm a total android-idiot ; i have no idea how to forward messages using android and that lao ren jia + uncle ben laughed at me, even my bee. Even now, I have no idea how to use more than half of the applications provided in the phone. This feels like being totally alienated from the celly-world even know we have a whole load of knowledge about lappies, like all i needed to know was to call & sms and now I've found fun in the monotonous barcode scanner. boring much?

I gradually realised the fact that every page of life turned on you. You, who would nevertheless draw a smile on my face through a phone call, a text message, or even a missed call or a warm comfort at the end of the day. You, who would always do everything to make me a happy girlfriend with the little surprises. You, who would pop up with a cyan blue styrofoam rose in the middle of the night even when you're busy with your work or killing super-ugly monsters on your lappie. You, who would rush to the doorstep the moment I fall sick even in the middle of your meetings. You, who would always keep me warm in the night along with little buio.

I love you, smelly bum :B

MYSMELLYBOY.

2011-01-26T01:21:00.003+08:00

been procrastinating.

i think this post should have been dated like, two weeks back. been dragging this post since the day the smelly boy and i got back from malacca, which was like, 12th jan. oh well. i haven't even uploaded the pictures to my notebook and have been dragging like, so many things - shopping, hair appointments and even the new blog design which is not even half done. twenty four hours never seemed enough, work, food, studies, time with the smelly boy and friends. can't believe that i even procrastinated the nights when i was supposed to do my nails before bedtime and dragged for almost a week, even forgot to go to the singtel shop to get the e72 and x10 mini pro that i've been eyeing. all these have led to me fiddling around with an iphone-3G for the moment, trying hard to adapt to the touchscreen phones and this prolly rules e72 out of my choices cause' i need a large qwerty-keypad - i use the phone horizontally because the buttons are like super small, like fuuck man, why can't humans make wider buttons? got pretty much used to it after a few days and twitter apps got much more convenient with the celly, but nothing betters a laptop when it comes to surfing the net and tweeting.

and oh yey malacca. drove around malacca's city area with the smelly boy and checked into avilion legacy-melaka, and cause there weren't enough rooms, the smelly boy picked the president-suite instead :B two rooms and a bathroom with both a standing-shower and a bathtub and two teevees. finally got to try the chicken rice balls that left the smelly boy grinning after he finished the rice balls soaked in chilli and dark soya sauce which i thought were FISHBALLS and felt very kuku about it. "chicken and fish balls? where's the rice?" running through the rain at jonker walk reminded me a lot of the first month together a good three years back when we did the same thing and got quite drenched. things haven't changed much except that we grew older & closer, hah :D love the steamboat-satay aka luk luk that we had, almost fifty sticks of satay with ham, fishballs, sotong, cockles and all that seafood in peanut butter sauce, and got the smelly boy drunk & blushing at the japanese restaurant when we finished a bottle of sake, practice doesn't make perfect all the time, hee, smelly zixin you still can't hold your liquor well :B

what working life has taught me.

that humans are constantly racing against the clock. i remember how i used to tell THS almost 6 years back that teachers race against the clock but it seems like it happens to every single human on earth. that's why i never get sufficient rest/sleep unless i'm on a vacation with the smelly boy and we'll shop, eat, sleep & play the whole day or spend hours babbling nonstop. well that's the smelly zixin for you, that smelly boy with the fluffy hair :B almost everyone in 07 is falling sick thanks to the weather, you see bouts of flu in tissue paper lying around everyday. maybe it's due to the weather or that we've eaten too much bak-kwa aka chinese bbq pork from the suppliers who brought in truckloads of them for the new year. and worse thing is, despite finishing everything, i've not bought anything for the new year yet, squeezing all that last-minute shopping with angela & peixuan on friday, new shoes and stuff and a meal with MO prolly at marina/citylink. i crave for thai express' green curry, like again. haven't dyed my hair or gotten a haircut yet, dangs. whining in the smelly boy's face again with the phrase "smelly dar, i want.." as he plays his weird-monster-killing-game again on his lappie. waiting for my nails to dry before i drag the smelly boy to sleep and make a new skin before the new year.

<3 zixin (:

soNOTHAPPY2011

2011-01-02T13:04:00.002+08:00

V2011.02 things we grew to realise.

I don't love life as much as i did, when i was younger. this feels old, yet Happy New Year 2011 to all the folks around despite facing a screen with a tear-stricken face. It doesn't feel good to grow up, i swear. I hate the tears that accompany ever week due to the stress that piles up one after another, continuous unresolved issues and all that shit. i hate having to put on a happy front and pretend that i'm alright, i hate it how much i always bottle things up and try this hard to take everything in my stride. i hate it how you fuuckers faced the computers this much and turned so unfeeling. i hate it, that to you, humans are nothing more than puppets, every place, every industry, every little sighting tells me this, these 21 years hadn't been easy and growing up is this painful.

like the same saying goes time & again,
"substitutes. runners. benchwarmers. soccerballs."

even as i type Happy New Year 2011, it doesn't even come across to me as something joyful. What was supposed to be a new phase in life turned out to be nothing more than a repetitive stab in life. i hate it that i'm this weak. i hate it that i'm nothing more than a durian.

i hate the tears of the adolescence years,
wishing this badly that i don't need to turn 21.

GIFTS.

2010-12-11T01:36:00.001+08:00

While one would always look forward to surprises and gifts in the form of tangible items, you’re a gift from god himself. Three years plus into this relationship, nothing makes a better gift on this world than you, the gift that god has carefully crafted and chosen. Gifts, why not presents? Having you in my life with every step I take, marks the past, present and the future, walking through every stage of adolescence, teenage, the rebellious years, the days of pain and tears and through to adulthood. Even at this moment I wouldn’t be considered a fully grown adult, needing always to rely on you in my life, always having you to hold my hand through every phase and every little decision. The one who knew me well enough inside out, planning my future with his hands and working hard towards it, the only person who would hug me tight through the feverish nights of illness, the days of anguish and tears, and to always share my joy and happiness no matter how bad the day turned out to be. Because you made the need for tangible gifts non-existent, because you taught me how to treasure every moment that we have together, because you had me understand, that you were the best gift that God could give me in my life.

I love you my smelly boy zixin ♥ (:

MADE IN ASIA.

2010-12-01T00:54:00.004+08:00

Hello December.

This marks the end of November as well as the end of C3 and Sitex 2010 that left me dead beat. Nevertheless, I managed some time out to work on my macintosh interface, something that I've been longing for quite some time and now it all boils down to the remaining sections where I've to transform the windows pop-ups into a total mac lookalike inside out.

Asustek machine, Macintosh interface and Fujitsu at heart. That's Made In Asia for you.

Vacation prep gets underway and I've yet to even pack my luggage, being more busy taking care of the smelly boyfriend who has fallen ill after long hours at work and long journeys on the highway. baby zixin, please get well soon so that you can look after smelly donut (:

On another hand, the end of Sitex 2010 marked the last journey of my roadshows. Nine months, I've been there, HP, Multi-brand and ending of the journey with Fujitsu. For a fully-converted Fujitsu lover from Sony/HP, I've to say that these nine months successfully infused the phrase "Made In Japan = Quality" into my mind. Walking through to the end of the road with this brand that has gradually became my favourite over time, here goes. Fujitsu, you've "conquered" me, you've made me a Fujitsu-lover through and through, excluding the love for macintosh' interface.

Years down the road, hopefully all the little children who walk through Funan Digitalife Mall continue to chant "FU-JIT-SU" in that japanese-like accent.

Hello December, Hello Made In Asia.

Get well soon, my sweet little doctor pillow zixin ♥

SLICEOFEVERYTHING.

2010-11-19T00:57:00.001+08:00

a little slice of everything and you.

even when life gets this hectic,

you had me stop and pause to watch the time go by and look up from my desk at the world outside.
to know that things aren't as miserable as they seem,
to always remember that one needs proper rest for the mind & body.

to know that you would be here no matter how bad the day turns out to be,
like how you would hold this little hand wherever you go.

i love the little h2h talks and quiet moments.
like how we watched the sea from vivo.
like how donut became yours at marina (:

for the smelly one who is made of cotton and raisins,
i ♥ you, dumbdumb zixin ♥

1131'st

2010-11-17T01:16:00.004+08:00

had a heart-to-heart talk with smelly zixin just before i posted this up and it made me feel a lot better after all the stress I've been undergoing these few weeks. i may look alright but truth is, i haven't been so. people around me like KC or JJ would have known better than other colleagues around. pushovers, substitutes, emergency rescue tubes, time and again, this is what I've been in my eight month stint at work. no matter how much I appear to love it - I don't deny that I love working, but I awfully hate being a pushover and all the shit that I undergo almost every single day - it feels like a do-or-die op where you would never know the outcome of anything. always the runner, always the replacement, always the substitute. i don't like this. i don't like how all that shit comes collapsing on me once you need a substitute to vent things out on or when you need someone to fill up that missing post in a shop. now it's me who doesn't understand and is no longer willing to put in that much effort as i once did because no matter what i do, i'm still a runner, no matter what i do, it's not appreciated and you people would only talk nicely to me when you want something to be done and when no one else is free to get it done. substitute, k5, 14, 437, get it? i'm glad i'm leaving all these after sitex 2010 ends, for good. nothing holds me here anymore. the only things left are the friendship i've bonded with the truly sincere people i've found around here like john, kc, ken, kelven, helen & henry. the only things left are the times when people go "thank you" after a long day of hard work. nothing else is left here, when i drag my feet to work, that's the final stop that i can ever handle.

smelly dar, I love the time you take almost every night to talk me through every little thing that is going through my mind, the time we would actually take and think back on what we went through and laugh at each other's stupid behaviour and mistakes and how we would talk about the future that awaits us the next day. I love it whenever you make those little promises and how you would say "I always will" (:

i love you zixin ♥

1157th.

2010-11-14T00:50:00.003+08:00

the endless little stuff i love about you.

happy 38 months of ant tunnel day.

like how it started off with white beanies, purple hair and little mamegoma seals.

like the little specks of nail glue in my hair ( i know you always laugh at this!) and the smell of your cigarette that i can no longer do without even though i don't like it when you smoke.

I ♥ the hugs outside that shop selling dk-game accounts (till now i still laugh at the fact that you really believed they sold dk accounts and peeked into the shop!)

I ♥ the moments when we waited outside the cinema to watch the leap years two years back and how I started playing with your hand and whacking you :B

I ♥ that windy night atop marina square when it was just you, me & no one else.

I ♥ every little thing that you do, and every moment that we spend together.

& lastly, I love you the way you are ♥

happy 38 months of ant tunnel day,
smelly smelly dar dar! ♥ :B

cookie bits of love

2010-11-13T01:51:00.002+08:00

The little bits that we build over time.

Before Sunday comes round the corner and spells thirty-eight months together, time made me realize how much you and I have grown & changed over these three years and two months-to-be.

I remember.

That I would always throw tantrums and whine non stop whenever you were busy with work, even when you went for a two hour meeting. I remember spamming your cellphone constantly with missed calls and messages that not only spoke of "I miss you Dar Dar" but also much of angst after a long wait. I remember how I would demand that you spend every single minute of your free time with me when this relationship first started ( & in the end you didn't have much time with your friends). I remember how nonsensical I would get and how you would give in to extents by giving in to every whim & fancy and talking sense into me until you lost your temper one day and didn't want to talk at all and that left me very upset. I still remember two weeks back when we talked about it and you laughed at me (bad pillow!) I remember how much I would cling onto your arm whenever we went out with your friends and that I still do so till today :B

I remember.

In the past we never really knew what was comprehending or what really was 'give and take'. I remember that I would always 'demand' for your time & attention even when you were busy with your work. I remember getting frustrated with myself because I couldn't find the right words when I just wanted a hug at the end of the day and screamed at you instead. And I laugh at myself now when I think of it that you took three years plus just to talk sense into my mind every night. I love the heart-to-heart talks nowadays before bedtime and whenever we call each other 'bad' and 'fat' and till today I still wonder how I often fell asleep while talking (oops).

I remember how we changed & grew this much in love together, amidst all the squabbles and fights over three years.

Like how I would always remember the only brand of cookie-snacks that you bought for me,
it spells MUNCHY's ♥

& now that you're fast asleep after a long drive home,
this is for you.

I love you ♥ zixin dar dar.

THREE EIGHT

2010-11-12T00:44:00.000+08:00

very very random lyrics that crossed my mind before i drift off to lalaland.
will post tomorrow morning after i wake up.

need to wake the smelly bf up tomorrow for his meeting! :B
♥ zixin

should i get smelly zixin 38 cupcakes for this sunday? ♥ (:

TWENTY YEARS ♥

2010-11-06T00:31:00.000+08:00

because you gave me the best birthday in these twenty years on earth.

because you made me the happiest birthday girl, ever.

because you would always go to all means to make me smile,
with the little things and sweetest presents ever.

like how you would term everyday as my birthday.
i love you my smelly dar ♥ zixin

1128TH.

2010-10-16T01:30:00.003+08:00

before the day comes round this month where I officially stop being a teenager,
I just want to grab onto every little piece of childhood that I can, at this very moment.

some things that i wish for (: will mister smelly pillow grant me these? ♥

to always have time out of our hectic work to enjoy gloria jean's coffee with you,
like how we did on our first date (:

to always share this with you for my life.
popcorn is only for smelly doctor pillow! ♥

to celebrate my birthday with you every year,
treasure & spend every moment with you and
to make you the smelliest lazybum boyfriend on earth.

i love you zixin ♥

37 months (:

2010-10-14T02:29:00.003+08:00

Happy 37 months, and my smelly, lazybum boyfriend,
These twenty promises are for you ♥

1. I will not kick my smelly pillow when i sleep.

2. I will not scold or bite my smelly pillow no matter how bad pms can get.

3. I will wake up on time and have breakfast before starting the day.

4. I will cook for my smelly pillow whenever i can.

5. I will eat whatever my smelly pillow makes.

6. I will not bully baby buio or fight with it.

7. I will gnaw on your cotton every night and every time i sleep.

8. I will hug you to sleep every night and won't turn away even if i'm angry at you (usually over something stupid i know)

9. I will be a good donut and not disturb when you're doing your work or having meetings.

10. I will make sure i sneeze and salivate on my smelly pillow.

11. I will not keep late nights.

12. I will jeer at germany & michael ballack with you.

13. I will do my best to be more understanding and not rant at you everytime when i get frustrated with myself.

14. I will not kao zai except for smelly doctor pillow.

15. I will not make stupid excuses up for stupid things that you already know (& probably laughing at me for doing so)

16. I will always & forever celebrate your birthday with you.

17. I will make cakes & puddings for you for every monthsary and birthday from this moment onwards.

18. I will eat my veggies.

19. I will study hard and get a good job so that you wouldn't have to work so hard for our future.

20. I will always love, treasure, & be with you. I love you, zixin ♥ (:

deep in thought.

2010-10-07T01:12:00.003+08:00

deep in thought.

at times i look into the mirror and wonder what am i really striving for in life. in the train rides home, i would often wonder if i had done my best at many a times, when i know deep down that i haven't. at times i would wonder if i had given the best that i could be when it came to work circumstances, but i hadn't done so all the time. at times i wondered if i had been a rational and calm person but i hadn't mastered how to be one and often allowed my heart to rule my head instead of the other way round. at the end of the day i would often ask myself if i had done the right thing on many occasions, yet it would always boil down to the ringing phrase that this is a cannibalized society.

i know i haven't tried hard enough.

"when everyone cheats, it doesn't mean that you should follow suit."

this was what you always drilled into my head in these three years and in almost every conversation. you had to drill things into my head because i was dead stubborn like a piece of rock, i shouldn't be a scorpion, i wondered at times, i should have been born a taurean and turned out as bullheaded as you.

i wonder why reflective posts always have a tinge of negativity in them.

in the past six months as i started on my first official job, i realised how much of a workaholic i was, yet the efforts i put in wasn't well-balanced out and it led to me feeling either over-exhausted or like an under-achiever at times.

truth is, i haven't been good enough.

i don't make a good colleague, i flare up easily at the slightest shot of criticism.

i don't make a good girlfriend, i've been overly obsessed with work at many moments that i neglected you and didn't have sufficient time to be by your side even if it was just to watch you get your work done or to have a meal with you. dinner became supper and breakfast for me in march to july pretty much didn't exist until you insisted that i had breakfast and some hot coffee to start the day off. i can't even master a good meal with the wok yet you never failed to love and finish up the wholemeal sandwiches that were somehow the only things i could make apart from pastas. i hadn't taken good care of myself and constantly made you worry & stayed up through the night to check on my health and yet still face me with a smile the next morning. i'm really really sorry chou chou doctor pillow. donut will try to balance work, health and our r/s properly as the days go by.

chou chou zixin, i love you ♥

ALMOST THERE.

2010-10-06T19:37:00.002+08:00

finally done putting all the ideas into an artpiece.
nineteen more days to turning twenty & i feel old.

bye twenty ten, hello cupcakes! :D

PS: Kia-c, i will update tonight after i get home (:

♥ chou chou der zixin :B

hiatus.

2010-09-25T19:10:00.002+08:00

back from vacation.
very late post of happy three years to the bad dumbdumb bf.

i promise a proper post in 7 days time from today.
sorry kia-c for making u wait this long for me to blog! ):

♥ zixin, 20070914

♥

2010-03-23T23:38:00.002+08:00

its supposed to be my off day but here i am, huddled away in a corner of the room in dumbdumb's big jacket and a mug of coffee, sneezing and blogging away. the sick bug in me gradually worsened in the evening with a tummy that churns non stop and saw me fighting the bad diarrhoea. it somehow amuses me how i managed without my daily dose of coffee since the first day of the IT show, how i managed the long working hours of my first job and fall flat right onto my bed once i get home, despite not feeling the toll of the daily workload when i'm working. i wonder how i have gotten this far, i didn't even expect myself to survive the first few days of the IT fair, the whole bunch of us in black hewlett-packard tee-shirts standing there for a good ten-odd hours going "hi, would you like to take a look at our HP laptops?" for a total of four days, rounding it up with supper at makan sutra on the last day of work at 1 am, the many of us who worked it through the aching feet and a pair of sneakers that had us survive through the IT show, charissa, chin kiat and i were dead beat in the cab on the last day of work, practically like three walking zombies with insufficient sleep. i somehow grimace at the number of double cheeseburgers [thanks zawoo for the macarons!] i shoved down my throat in the four days, when you rush your meal instead of properly digesting it. damn the 'china-man' for repeatedly injuring my ankle and hitting me at the IT show, i'm sorry if this sounds racist, yet lucky that i held myself back instead of striking the dm3 right at his head. damn this desperate fella who went around getting our numbers when he failed to get the number from sin sian's friend. being a colleague at the IT show doesn't give you the right to hit me, it doesn't give you the right to demand for our numbers, it fully explains why you weren't invited along for supper, enough said.

to some joker at work, i don't care if you see this or you cry foul in front of karen, i don't give a damn if this is insulting YOU, i don't give a damn if you don't like what i've said, you should just get lost if you can't even carry a HP MINI, you should just hire a maid to accompany you to work since you can't even lift a small vacuum cleaner, you should just get your ass off from here since you can't do anything except sit at the link bridge, you should just go look at yourself in the mirror before calling the general manager a noob (like who the fuck you think you are?), i don't care if this paragraph makes you uncomfortable, i don't care if you were to be a crybaby and complain about this, is this not the truth? nabeh.

two more web designs and one advertisement that i have yet to start on. sighs. hopefully staring hard at bad baby dumbdumb would give me some inspiration, in serious need for a chain of thoughts to piece all my ideas together.

note to self : sleep and focus tomorrow, please.

♥ jessie, sylvester, edwin, peggy, cheeng, munyi, vivian, victor, andrea, nerdycarrot, joel, sihui, theresa, kelly, charissa, caleb, virgil, bryan, sinsian, samuel, chinkiat, zawoo, jaselyn, chunquan, tingting, kweecheng, chengkun, eddie, kaiyun, samuel papa :D

sweet dreams, bad baby dumbdumb ♥ 070914.

AMUSED.

2010-02-28T00:02:00.000+08:00

it amuses me when you get half annoyed and sigh after trying hard to make me understand something. it amuses me when i look into the mirror and at times feel like you.

i love you ♥

MYDEARESTYOUUU.

2010-02-14T00:57:00.004+08:00

for my dearest you,

happy valentines day ♥ and a happy twenty nine months ♥
words can't describe everything that is running through my mind every now and then. you gave me everything, my sweetest one ♥, its already sufficient. don't ever blame yourself for not being able to get me certain things. you're my greatest comfort.
i love you ♥. you found time out of your busy schedule such that you could even spend the first few moments of valentines day with me on the phone as the clock struck twelve, putting me to sleep even though you were feeling sick and drowsy due to your backache. my sweetest one, i hope you liked the honey-peanut butter sandwich. i love you ♥

happy valentines day ♥

ILOVEBABY♥

2010-02-10T00:43:00.000+08:00

sweetest one on earth; a surprise present that cannot be measured in any monetary terms, that drew a smile that big on my face that till now i'm still grinning and feeling so happy. it's been almost three years, you grew with me, tolerated my nonsense, looked after me constantly, showering care, concern and love and guiding me, teaching me even though all you had to do was to love me, made sure i slept and woke early for better complexion and health, insisted that i took slow walks in the garden area so that my heart would get better, stuffed my wardrobe with not only clothes but lots of tonics, biscuits and cartons of milk for fear that i would skip breakfast on days when i have early classes, always made sure that i ate healthy food and splurging so that i can enjoy them, knowing that i hate eating plain chinese vegetable rice, you always brought me out to sakae, knowing that i love marshmellows, pasta, chocolates and grilled food u would always bring me out to have them even if the bill came to a total of hundred bucks every time. made sure i did my work and revised before i played, being my walking dictionary and hmm, half personal tutor at times who gives all the answers to my tutorials? :B

i never thought that surprise was the sweet little note you found, one in a million, and even pretending to be shy when telling me about it :B naughty baby ♥ an early happy CNY, happy valentines day and twenty-nine months & two years of being your dear wife ♥

i love you, bad baby ♥

END OF FYP.

2010-02-04T22:02:00.001+08:00

the last day of FYP's presentations. three years. i've been partially studious, noisy, cranky, hyperactive,moody, withdrawn and all sorts of shitty stuff that happened. im glad that i still have that special someone beside me supporting me all this while, even after he suffered three years of my shitty moodswings, constant whining and grumbling and endless nonsense. and the year one gang that has always been supportive and always there with lots of nonsense to get through the stressful workload of the semester. in this last semester of my three year stint at TP, god granted a group of nice and helpful group mates who helped me get through this FYP as well as what i loathe most - presentations. it's not just about the heavy boots that caused blisters in my foot, or the formal presentation clothes that were dead uncomfortable, but the issue of stage fright. i really abhor presenting for i forget everything that i want to say when it's my turn to present. i think the last time i did well for it was in year one's comm skills, which was like a good three years ago. it made me feel a lot better when they arranged for presentation rehearsals, it didn't feel that tense when it got to my turn, yet the lack of it somehow leaves me insecure, it felt better than the previous semester, i didn't feel that scared, presenting my part beforehand in front of my group mates, there was only lots of advice and reminders, and not some i-dont-give-a-damn-about-what-happens-to-you attitude thrown in your face. even if things have gotten only one percent better in life, it's enough.

thank you so much, i finally managed it without cue cards.

class of 3M04.

reluctant and exhausted.

2010-02-02T23:34:00.004+08:00

i miss those times in year one when everyone was so innocent and nice and there was no word called backstabbing in the dictionaries, or politics. i miss those times when my tutors would ask me to keep quiet when questions were thrown to the crowd. i miss those times when we would talk about anything under the sun. i miss those times when we all mugged together for economics and the whole class finished the semester with A's in economics and the year one gang celebrated with two tubs of Ben & Jerry's ice cream. i miss those times when gathering as a class before all lectures was what we never failed to do. i miss those times of fooling around and yet getting 3.8 at the end of the semester. i miss those times when i would diligently finish up all the tutorials and had my lecture notes scribbled with all weird diagrams and graphs in all sorts of colours. i miss the motivation and the liveliness that i once had. i just don't feel like talking anymore at times. i know that i've been a disappointment and throwing my efforts down the drain. i really don't feel motivated, i don't want to talk, i don't like it when my efforts aren't the main bulk of what we get at the end of the day, i feel like shit. i hate it when i don't get to draw, i hate it when doing SWOT analysis is no longer a big deal as compared to year one's swot analysis of APPLE aka iPod aka iPhone aka iPad, i hate it when ideas ideas and ideas is all that is required even after squeezing out all my brain juices i've ran dry of them and i feel so tired, it's not just about the compressed semester, i don't love this anymore. i remember the days when i used to love attending lectures armed with a can of pringles and a bottle of pokka green tea, half taking notes and half making nonsensical remarks with the year one gang, but now? i feel so dead. i'm attending just for the sake of getting good grades, i don't feel the push anymore, unless u meant global mktg which strangely gets into my brain even though its a 'graveyard lecture' at 4pm every Friday. i lost those brains for writing chunks of reports except for writing on ambience ambience & ambience, which i would rattle on and on about, or drawing out what's in my mind. but what's with the system that doesn't allow me to explain that everything around us surrounds the word ambience? whether it's restaurants, plane flights, bus rides, everything is about the experience, what's with it that you fuucking can't understand about the entire experience that things in life provide and need me to write in tons of pages? i'm really tired. i hate this. writing a report about something i don't agree with is so not me at all. need i print a page that reads

"THE ENTIRE DINING EXPERIENCE. GO EXPERIENCE IT YOURSELF."

in font size seventy-two so that you would understand what i meant?

i need a break from all these. just ten more days and i'm done with this shit, but i'm not satisfied. this isn't what i want, at all.

i'm sorry, i can't face it. i feel like, having been your student for three years, i've become more of a disappointment than anyone in the class. your once most jovial and hardworking student became the quietest of all as time passed. i failed to live up to the constant expectations that everyone has of me, the happy side of me just diminished with all the stress that is coming from all angles and deferring my studies is definitely not going to be a good choice when there's only ten days left to the end of the semester, you might say why not get it over and done with, but, as who i've always been, i'm not satisfied with what has turned out, this isn't what i've planned, not at all.

i used to smile a lot, but i've stopped doing so.
i used to laugh a lot, but i'm so reluctant to even speak.
i used to be so bubbly, but now i feel so dead tired.

the only thing that didn't change,
is that i'm still as headstrong as ever..

if i could turn back the hands of time..

IHY2010.

2010-01-24T23:47:00.003+08:00

a late hello 2010, and bye 2009. this time we're saying farewell to the teenage years for good, at least not for me until the calendar flips to october. FYP has gotten its way through the damn compressed semester, deadlines every single week. i should have taken a photo of the tight schedules that we have to keep up, lucky that two papers are down already.i really hate you twenty ten. you make me feel that i'm aging and i never felt this way before. hateful shit. as cny's preparations get through and we get started with spring cleaning and shopping for new year goodies, i would agree with michelle, i don't feel like buying anything. i feel so dead, the workload is tiring me out, lucky that my group-mates for this semester are understanding tho' everyone in year three is suffering from this compressed semester shit

last year.

now it feels like shit to grow old, as the years pass you feel older but this time that our age is going to start with a "2" it really feels like we've aged a whole lot, having lived two decades and spent seven years of it sleeping.

as the dark circles and bad skin start to set in for everyone who are busy rushing off their FYP or work,it's finally bedtime.

ying;
hello lao mint! (:

wishing for little mango pudding to get well soon (:

HISDEAR.

2009-11-10T12:53:00.004+08:00

berries and liquor.

overdue photos of my birthday celebration at tcc

*get the rest of the pics from grandpa anthony (:

very lethargic now although its early afternoon.
ahahah. bye folks.

i'll post when the lethargy gets away (:

Sihuieh;
madame u only call jon baby leh :P

kath;
thanks kath! (:

you drew that smile on my face again,
irreplacable, indescribable.

something that money can never buy.
i love you

MUCHBETTER.

2009-11-04T23:40:00.002+08:00

i saw someone that i shouldnt have seen i guess,
although i hope that its just my imagination that i thought it was her.
or maybe it really was.
i dont know.

walked out of the shop half stunned in the evening.
till i was in too much of a shock to speak i guess.

i just walked away blankly without even thinking about my celly,
i dont know why that look was so menacing,
scary enough to leave me stunned for a few hours.

i didnt even bother to think about my celly that was constantly auto-restarting itself.

alright now though.

feeling better with a mug of hot milk tea and a thick blanket after getting drenched in the rain on the way home.

those unhappy thoughts that spoiled my mood the previous days are starting to be gone with the wind. phew (: but okay, im very tired now and i need sleep.

oh yes.

thanks alot theresa (:

TEARY.

2009-11-04T01:57:00.004+08:00

dead beat and yet teary-eyed.
its midnight now though.

putting away that frustration over my t707,
it hurts to be sick.

it hurts to be disappointed even more.

disbelief and at a loss for words.

not supposed to feel this way.

supposed to be happy.
supposed to be my pillar of strength.
supposed to be for me to cry on.
supposed to be my happy pill.
supposed to be my everything.
supposed to be my emotional support.

yet im feeling so lost at this moment even though we've came this far.

你总是微笑的你总是不开口
世界被你掌握

月亮绕地球地球绕着太阳走
我以为世界是座宁静的宇宙

今晚的天空有一颗流星跨过
在预言着什么

在无声之中你拉起了我的手
我怎么感觉整个黑夜在震动
耳朵里我听到了心跳的节奏
星星在闪烁你怎么说

i love you.

replied;

kath;
i'll try (: hee hee (:

WEAKENED.

2009-11-03T00:19:00.004+08:00

im not supposed to be feeling this way.
i cant stop the tears from rolling down my face.

weakened.

bad gastritis till i threw up in the washroom.

i dont want to keep asking myself why i seem to be the only one down with this much of illnesses and pain.

it hurts.

i badly need the strength and courage to move.
im so afraid of collapsing.

i hate being ill.

even though no one says it,
i feel like a burden, a liability.

even though u dont say it,
i feel like im an extra weight that u're carrying and that im weighing u down.

feeling so awfully feeble and weak.

sorry for the upsetting post people.

i feel so weak nao.

hard to please.
difficult to deal with.
easily satisfied at times.
high maintenance.
fussy.

how true.

food matters a lot to me.
prata. pasta. cake. muffins. donuts. pastries.
anything yummy, and truckloads of it.

doesnt leave the house on a bad hair day.
thanks to eddy and bernice for the remedies everytime a bad hair day is here to stay (:

on days when nail beds are left to breathe,
they cannot be chipped :B

coffee must smell nice else the day is ruined, even if i have all of the above.

and youuu must be happy else i wont smile (:

SWEETNINETEENTH.

2009-11-02T02:17:00.006+08:00

on the eve of my nineteenth birthday with the year 1 gang.
(michelle was too busy with work to attend).

coincidentally my lunar birthday fell on 25th october, the same date as my birthday that goes by the 'international' calendar (:

happy belated birthday samuel wong sui peng papa! [27th october] (:

quoted from papa's fb:
"yoyo thanks nuer! :) thanks for wishing me almost everywhere! haha :)"
LOLLLL.

happy birthday to grandpa anthony too (:
okay lah. happy belated birthday for ur 22nd october.

at manhattan fish market, central.
(featuring grandpa anthony, gerald and mr paw)

at tcc for coffee (:

nice lightings.

rushed off to celebrate grandma's birthday at copthorne king's hotel.

grandma and grandpa (:

my cake at home, at the stroke of midnight (: thanks tea (:

randoms, and a tired me after celebrating for two days.

thanks to all who wished me happy birthday , and for taking out your time to celebrate with me, even in your busy schedules (i know its weekend though )

and to a special someone who never failed to remember my birthday :B hee hee.

kath;
thanks kath (: lol relax i didnt even go back (:

sihuieh;
auntie! since when u call me baby de? LOL.

i'll type the rest in the next post. dead beat now and waiting for my hair to dry (:

p.s.
i miss you. i love you.

NINTEENTH, PART 1

2009-10-25T03:28:00.004+08:00

tag replies, and apologies for not uploading part 1 of my nineteenth birthday for it's 3am now.

nurulzxc :B ;
hihi nurul (: i still remember u (:

kath;
im too lazy to go back already lol..

sihuieh;
madame, u can change the tracks -.- there are like nine plus songs there -.-

thanks to all those who wished and celebrated my birthday with me (:
i'll upload it by next week (:

BACKFROMHIATUS.

2009-10-01T22:49:00.001+08:00

hello world after a long hiatus :D

|||||||hang hang hang hang hang....||||||
web reviving in progress, apologies for any inconvenience caused.

ps. happy belated birthday crystal tan :D

SICKAGAIN.GRR.

2009-06-19T11:32:00.002+08:00

bound by that endless lethargy till i just want to curl up in my blanket with a warm drink, preferably a mug of hot milo and a thick sweater, although im in one now. shall get pictures from madame LEYLEY afterwards, i think i'm turning into a walking zombie. oh wells.

recent and old pictures dug out.

the second last pic looks dead emo.

FELIXCOMPLEANOS(:

2009-05-17T21:56:00.004+08:00

& finally she was convinced that my celly was dead,
thanks to the serviceman at the singtel shop.

(finally understood 'technical' language after around three months?)

being of the same model as my previous celly,
what can you expect of this celly which is pretty much good for nothing?
*dies after a 1 day usage*

finally she understands that,
its time to make way for a new celly (:

or at least something that doesnt keep crashing due to software problems (:

& a late,
felix compleanos (:

WRENCHEDHEARTS.

2009-05-12T23:27:00.001+08:00

was siiening away in school while waiting for rebecca & her classmate.
no prizes for guessing where's this.

still having problems making my way around, with my legs still hurting quite a bit and the purple patches on the right knee refusing to fade. my heart's contracting randomly again, at considerably weird moments clenching. contracting. wrenching. it feels as if something is bounding onto it. deathday looks to be near as people say, ren shen ku duan, or life is short & bitter. heh.

sleep deprived.

goodnight folks

TORNCELLY.

2009-05-11T03:08:00.000+08:00

tear up the celly.
i bet there is something unsightly inside.

dead certain.

something like,
gprs tracking device?

or some weird virus thingy.
causing it to constantly auto-restart.

friggin' idiotic.

heh. the calculus lecturer is dead detestable.
rambles on and on as slow as a slowpoke.

*snores and finishes last page of lecture as she elaborates on example 6.

goodnight folks :D
p.s. apologies for the random post.

MIDNIGHT CRAVINGS.

2009-05-10T02:36:00.007+08:00

eheheh finally edited bits and pieces of the new layout here and there pretty much sick of the old one. finally found my colour & composition materials at art friend that day, yet its located at bras basah complex and taka only. sighs. friggin' inconvenient! the most high-expensed subject amongst all that i'm taking since 2007.. burnt a hundred bucks on the materials in week two already adding onto the fact that i burnt my sleeping hours thanks to painting my art pieces.. weird thing is that i dont feel tired after doing so, even when i realised that it was daybreak already.. i lack sleep!

craving for ajisen's butter corn ramen at this hour. fairly random i know. dead hungry! or should i have sushi? (wonders where to get such food at midnight)

someone bake me a gingerbreadman pl0x.

tag replies

vgoper hi colin lol u finally saw the late grats for 200 ^^

lowell potato! how on earth you hopped to here? or should i say roll? u owe me a day of bowling..

paw ur link is at the links section ar.

RIDICULOUS.

2009-05-07T04:06:00.002+08:00

finally done with my colour & composition artwork. wondering why do marketing students need to draw or even paint.

absolutely ridiculous.

the time now reads 4.11 am.

fuucked up. toppled my bottled paints, had my palms dirty thanks to the 8B pencil i used to print the ink on the tracing paper onto the drawing block.

im lucky dad stored quick snacks for the night.

stored up paints for the time being from popular bookstore after failing to get them from bras basah complex at bugis. well, at least with the paints the fuucktard requested for.

rawr. i want green paint

left with finding a palette for tomorrow.

~~bottled paints in black, white and yellow.~~
~~nylon paint brushes.~~
~~tracing paper.~~
~~drawing block.~~
~~pencils in all shades.~~
~~palette.~~
~~a3 folder.~~

do marketing students need these? i really wonder. heh.

raining again goodnight time for a good sleep. im dead beat.

DUMBTUTORS.

2009-05-02T19:53:00.004+08:00

the start of year three.
note: i friggin' despise the tutor who can't even draw a proper piece of art.

and yes, i can't believe that i, as a marketing student, is overladen with work assigned from her cross-disciplinary subject (cds) which is only three credit units instead of my other subjects.

and a whole lot of materials too.

for god's sake, im not an art student.
(even if i were, i wouldn't fancy being taught by YOU)

nike's client briefing on wednesday, not that fruitful though. i'd very much rather have adidas and jurgen klinsmann. dragged for quite a long while due to the last speaker. was already half dozing off by then i guess, minhui was sitting there staring into space.. wouldn't be that boring if i had french fries in the auditorium :D or a double cheeseburger

currently craving for raisin cupcakes

argh. off to dinner before i get gastritis again :D
post later.

i should start texting and stop dialling? hmm. maybe.

SHATTEREDTHOUGHTS.

2009-05-01T23:26:00.000+08:00

a mind of shattered thoughts.

APIECEOFME.

2009-04-26T19:16:00.003+08:00

have been sitting infront of the lappie for a good few hours staring into space. well, not exactly. random thoughts running through my mind as always, trying to piece them together such that i could collapse my thoughts into a piece of writing and not scattered bits here and there. pardon my randomness which pops up here and there. im unwilling to turn to the tv screen as always, tv programmes always failed to interest me, except hongkong drama serials i guess. or raymond lam fong or danson tang ignore the star-struck bimbotic sentence.

a piece of me,

randomly done due to my constant boredom. starting to lose interest in pet society already.. *sighs* halfway through the knee recovery, yet constantly bugged by fever, as well as the feeling that im doing the wrong thing, no idea what it is anyway.

tutorials start tomorrow, yet i somehow feel lost when i re-visit my add-math notes after three years. i seemed to have forgotten quite a bit. nuuuu. i cannot! i promised weiwei since 2005 i wouldn't lose a single mark in math or im not called munchydonuts. puiii.

an unexpected call from you.
almost a good three years since we didn't meet.
hearing your voice over the phone seemed like any other conversation we had at that time. three years.

the only one that i didn't cry over.
past memories. heh

i'll do well, i won't be careless, i won't lose a single mark, like i've always promised you, like what you always wanted me to be..

craving for gelare all of a sudden. or root beer float. pfft. almost typed it as root bear.

pardon me, for i would like to ramble on in chinese.

近日在发廊时翻阅着八卦杂志，应该是几个星期前的吧，标题写着：

谁不曾“阿娇”？

好一个标题，把我这不爱阅读八卦杂志的读者吸引住了。没错，谁不曾阿娇？谁不曾单纯过？谁在谈恋爱时不曾想要过天长地久，或天真的想着王子与公主过着幸福生活的童话故事呢？当她单纯的说没想到会有这样的结果时，若你认为这是个不可接受的理由，那你也曾“阿娇”过。

怎么说呢？

你不是认为人与圣贤一样，不会犯错的吧？

太久没看八卦杂志，这篇章足以让我坐着阅读了足足半个钟头。若没记错，应该是优周刊吧。。。不然就是i 周刊咯。。。

到了晚上睡觉时总爱听歌入睡，总听着陈浩民的《爱海滔滔》，石欣卉的《你没想像中爱我》或郭美美的《放了爱》

一定是我不够好所以你才想要逃
逃到天涯和海角躲在别人的怀抱
你能不能不管过得好不好
不要故意躲开不让我知道

只要你过得很好什么都已不重要
我不会故意打扰更不会让你烦恼
我每一夜不管你知不知道
傻傻流着眼泪默默的祈祷
希望你过得好

晚安。。。明天要上学咯！不爱上学。。。唉。。。

愛します

2009-04-18T02:51:00.003+08:00

遠すぎて無効だろう場合
私の愛は取得したホーム

a direct translation of the song,
starry starry night or better else known as vincent.

go figure which two lines i lifted.

愛します。

*水曜日は休日を公式に宣言されます。
four day school week. lmao.

of cuts grazes and tears.
i'd gladly be sick and bed ridden.

no seafood.
no eggs.
no cooling food and drinks.

soya-deprived.

p.s. pasta mania, you're turning sucky. heh.

COPYMEOWS.

2009-04-15T16:59:00.001+08:00

fair enough,

stop being a copymeow and have some originality.

can't believe you are even copying at pet society.
tsk tsk.

how uncreative can you get.

COWARDICE.

2009-04-13T16:16:00.002+08:00

happy hiding behind the screen of an mmorpg game,

don't curse my friends who have not offended you in any way,
you don't even have the courage to meet up at any area,

what are you?

i believe even vivian who is younger than you would laugh at your actions and words.

life isn't about levelling and training profusely.
any benefits for reaching the maximum level?

a month-long trip to switzerland?
exemption from school?
a billion dollars.

neither.

or, does it just give you the guts to hurl vulgarities at others?

you're just showing me that you're nothing more than a coward.

HOWTIMEFLIES ):

2009-04-12T14:12:00.005+08:00

bound by that lethargic feeling brought by the rain.
should i thank you for bringing along a bad fever that left me weak?

im like spending almost everyday of the year sick,
fever. flu. sinustisis. sore throat. cough.

poland labelled it a packaged illness.
oh wells.

need to get back to pixelling.

and shopping for necessities before the school term starts.
my last and senior year at tp.

how fast time flies since i entered as a freshie who often lost her way at school.
p.s. i still do, so buy me a school map ):

when those in their second / third year would walk past and whisper 'freshie freshie' to each other,

you realise that it's freaking easy to recognise a typical freshie.

up to you to figure it out (:

armed with kraft biscuits and munching away,
i guess im turning into a food-blogger someday,
whichever terminology you would use for it.

apologies that i didn't bother checking it up.

currently browsing:

ikea's 2009 catalogue.
joke diary.
aal team's blog, which i think provides good entertainment and insight.
scv magazine for upcoming hongkong drama series.

seriously addictive.

我好困。我应有的空间呢？你给我的温柔是寂寞吗？
好讨厌整天和时间赛跑，不能呆在自己家里吗？

好辛苦。

其实我不快乐。

我突然爱上了不说话的感觉。
可能，心情会好一些。

好想自己静一静，拥有不被干扰的思绪。

我能做我喜欢的事吗？

不，我无法办到。

我爱网站设计，
爱骑马，
爱滑雪，
爱骑水上摩托，
爱边享用着咖啡边思索生活点滴，
爱静静的坐下来想着新的构思，
爱容易让人入睡的音乐，

但是，我什么都不能做到。

其实，我不快乐。

RANDOMNESS.

2009-04-11T02:04:00.000+08:00

seated in front of the lappie.
armed with two chicken pies and a mug of fresh multigrain milk.

and dozing off.
fairly random post today.

SO NOT SINGAPOREANNN.

2009-04-10T22:13:00.002+08:00

an injured wrist while tearing the parking coupons.
ohh farkkk.

i looked as if i slitted my right wrist.
eeyerrs.

im craving for laksa and mee rebus again.
airport food. hehs.

what has our terminal one turned out to be?
hint: so not singaporean.
it doesn't look like our country anymore.
feels so alien to me.

HUNGRYYYY.

2009-04-09T19:38:00.003+08:00

i can't help craving for food every two hours ):

lemme munch on these;
sillymon donuts from donut empire.
mcspicy and mudpie mcflurry from macdonalds.
salmon pasta from pasta mania.
xiao long bao from din tai fung.
century egg porridge from crystal jade.
laksa from hong kong cafe.
mushroom swiss burger from burger king.
big breakfast from macdonalds.
bar chor mee from 401.

and a slice of life.

jiayouus :D

2009-04-07T17:20:00.012+08:00

haven't been in quite a good mood due to the constant diarrhoea. idk what went wrong with the food i had. something like what chinese physicians would call 火气很重, or heaty i guess.

so bad till i shoved unkind language down the throat of my loved one.
im really sorry about that ):

my junior's retaking her O's this year.
hope it all goes well for you and hopefully you can get into the poly/tertiary institution that you're aiming for :D

xoxo, ドーナツ

BACKKS.

2009-04-05T18:22:00.001+08:00

apologies for the lack of entries if anyone were to be reading. had been pretty much busy this holiday, as well as thinking and designing a new blogskin for the month. hopefully this works on internet explorer, cause im viewing the new skin using mozilla firefox.

not that perfect though. still needing some touch ups here and there cause its a piece of rushed work.

the bad and considerably abnormal weather lately has landed me dead beat in a bout of flu and fever. not again. half drenched in perspiration and in the rain. maybe i should sit there one day watching this acid rain corrode my skin. wow.

the thought of the purplish black rain that fell on japan a good forty four years ago reminds me of black sesame. somehow craving for it at this hour though ):

i can't help stereotyping homosapiens at times. well enough i shouldn't, yet what im seeing just increases the many chances of categorizing human beings. not by their skin colour though. maybe, more through the way they carry themselves.

hmmm.

a long absence from mmorpg games, yet i don't harbour any thoughts of returning at the moment. its time i left the days of hiding behind the computer screen lifelessly and letting time pause, for that few moments only.

the air in the environment definitely smells more refreshing.

GHASTLINESS.

2009-03-22T02:37:00.002+08:00

back onto the blogosphere after being busy for a good two weeks.
that pokka carrier sure caught my eye.

after sponsorships, advertisements, promotions and campaigns,
i saw something really different.

a pokka carrier.
[available at petrol kiosk stations]

not strong enough as a promotion, yet enough to gain the attention of consumers i suppose.

oh fuuck.
this is the school vacation.
i should seriously stop relating life events to what i've learnt.
pfft.

my koalabear started relating the munching of a chicken wing to old-school physics.
rawr.
yet many singaporeans enjoy their chicken wings with their fingers.

like, KFC.

am biting into my chicken pie after a long sleep,
thanks to a biological clock which has turned my sleeping time upside down.

a racism-filled yet humorous colleague for a week.

oh yes.
i came across a number of gay and lessbian couples for the past week.
failed to notice them if my colleague didnt point that out.

eww-ness.
its not the homosexuality that disgusts me.
its the free-flow of blusher on your face that gives me the feeling that i saw a ghost at midnight.

currently addicted to : Kindaichi Shounen no Jikenbo.

EPICPHAILURE.

2009-03-01T02:12:00.006+08:00

I'm laughing away at spencer's blog entry.

"I went down to Dhoby Ghaut to have lunch at Fish and Co with teh year1 gang at the glass house yesterday, Trini brought her boyfriend who brought his stunning hair."

stunning hair?!

an engrossed mr paw.

gerald's PHAILED ATTEMPT at acting cute.
[wtf is he doing?]

GLASSHOUSE.

2009-02-27T23:12:00.004+08:00

badly craving for a serving of seafood platter,
although laogonggg and i just had fish & co with mich, mr paw, gerald and anthony this afternoon at glasshouse.

nutty never gets enough of mushroom sauce.
and fish with lemon butter sauce.

*steals laogonggg's crayfish spaghetti*

long time since we met up though.
everyone had been busy with the endless projects in semester 2.2.

no one seemed to have changed though.
still racism-filled and gossipy remarks here and there.

so very typical of us.

oh yes. did i mention that lady dressed like she was going for a suntanning session at sentosa when it was like, daylight in cathay?

ugh. that's exactly what i meant.
it looked more like a towel than a dress.

taiti-ed again.
im reminded of those times when we would use the whole lunch break at design canteen to taiti or play bridge while we had our usual pork chop with mushroom sauce.

gerald : add pork!

yet this time.

its taiti at starbucks coffee, plaza singapura.
chucked somewhere with a caramel frappe.

finally got my caffeine fix!

ahh. luckily im not the asshole for the day (:

GETALIFE.

2009-02-24T22:33:00.009+08:00

before i forget,

to a close friend who has always been there rain or shine,
through all the levelling process we have gone through every now and then,
the crazy moments when we slacked at the free market after training,
the slots u always kept for me when it was free 2x exp even when i woke up horriby late,
or when you spammed for me whenever i couldn't find a place to train at,
every alternate hour that we spend thinking about what to splurge on for the next day,
the many hours spent pooping with a sai [mdas weapon], poop hat and poo stick,
and the times when you were always there whenever i felt down,

happy seventeenth birthday
sai po zoe chen guan sai! (:

may all your birthday wishes come true (:
here's your sai present [poops]

koalabear and i paid a visit to the ikea outlet at alexandra yesterday, some stone throw away from alexandra hospital i suppose.
if only 1901 hotdogs sold the same ones as ikea does ):
as you know well enough, im lazy to boil water, not even to mention cooking swedish hotdogs.
would you still want a lazy wifey? x33

yet, the sad fact remains that ikea's furniture do not promise as much quality as their designs do. i don't mind the dog-butt hooks and stuffies though.

somehow addicted to fat items that are well stuffed with cotton.
and that includes a bolster.

the above paragraph is practically irrelevant i suppose.
ahhh. time for pet society!

lemuel chung bing xie,
kindly get a life (:

PATHETIQUENESS.

2009-02-23T23:21:00.010+08:00

aisehmenn.

i forgot what her level is, yet please note out for this character in auditionSEA with the following:

sioBazhang.

green spikey ponytail.
jap school uniform.

get your facts right before you bombard my sweetie.
you're already married in rl with a child still want make a fuss over a two year rs?

someone near your thirties somemore.
i guess you must be twenty seven if i didnt get it wrong?

pathetiqueness.

i wonder your intention over making a big fuss over my money. so what if im spending my dad's money everyday? is it of any concern to you that i don't have to work for my own money and yet have the ability to splurge on 10k cash every single day and enjoy fine dining? why give a damn about me and the way i splurge? im not using your money anyway, add onto the fact that you still asked me for money at your age. can't you ask your hubby for them? this is sick, totally off-topic. why dig into my spending methods when its an issue that has expired two years ago? considering that we are both adults, i seriously hope you have some maturity for your age.

no wonder you didn't even manage past your N levels [for NT] after when you were young.
come crying to me when you were once my old buddy?
or should i say you failed to treasure him and therefore regrets it now that your husband abuses you every now and then?

as mentioned, it does not fall on my responsibility of which his feelings change towards you.

especially when you consider the fact that you are already MARRIED.

i kept my doubts all along.
you take my IQ of 152 for nothing?

twenty-seven yet lacking brains to think.
some more once my jie.
don't make me puke over your grave.

my laogonggg is not your toy.

whoever's reading, go take a look at kelly's post on satay, which moves onto the issue of mister lardvepta. or lordvepta to be exact. fyi, its someone in msea bootes, the guildmaster of DeftInvade who has been noted to be sorta sadistic in some way.

i pity the sad plight of innocent girls who fall at his hands.

here goes the first paragraph.

read on from her blog (:

I eat satay.

There.I said it.I know you'll hate me.

Lard is used to make satay.Lard is the key ingredient for the production of epic phailures such as LardVepta.However if people ate too much satay,there will be an massive decline in the ingredient,prices of lard will rise and there will also be a decrease in the production of epic phailures.And so there will be less people to make fun of.I know you like to make fun of people so there.Hate me if you want to.But I love my satay.I seriously can't live without satay.I'd rather die then become a vegetarian.(Sorry to those who are offended at this post but I can't live without meat.Actually I don't really like eating pork but sadly lard is a key ingredient to making satay)

RECOMMENDED : PERFECT CUT (go buy it now!)

to whoever that tagged anonymously,
what has my post against another homosapien has to do with you?
are you obssessed with my blog?
i take pride in knowing that you take my words with such high regard.
thanks for bringing more traffic here (:

adore me or abhor me,
its still an obssession.

dont tell me you know how to study but dont want to.
actions are stronger than words.
show me what you have rather than spouting like a senseless kid.

telling me you know how to study yet unable to produce a cert?
what is this?

dont tell me you are mature and independent enough when you fail to even possess a good cert.
what's the meaning of being independent?
being able to earn 1k per month yet cant even afford an apartment?
what's the use of eating when you lack a shelter over your head?
stay at your parents' place?
or waiting for someone to marry you and leech him off?

nice plan in leeching of your husband. i pity him.

commenting that i look ugly makes you feel better?
go ahead and comment if it makes you feel happy.
what's the use of being chio or to call yourself average?

earn a living out of your looks?
show me if you can (:
if you are unable to,
for your parents' sake, grow up.

what has my hair got to do with YOU anyway?
im fine with my hair being spoilt.
i can afford to go for treatment whenever i want to.
worry about yours instead.
afterall, its MY hair as mentioned (:

happy fetching me more traffic (:

MUNCHYLOVESSARCASM.

2009-02-22T20:50:00.004+08:00

before you sweeties read onto another sarcasm-filled post, enjoy these comfort food as you read, especially if you're addicted to this mmorpg game called maplestory.

warning : causes sore throat.

found them at the supermarket on the way home as i was shopping for my very-addictive meiji coffee milk. i swear its a must try.

i wonder what would you really deem as fate or coincidence.

i honestly would not classify such incidents that i've came by as fate, unless in the case of vivian and zoe [xiaoting] dearest, whom both have, coincidentally had similiar ways of living and personal characteristics that are alike to mine.

the word twinnie was thrown in due to the fact that we had very very similar characteristics from the start, not just features alone. i place a lot of emphasis on individuality, or to put it simply, having originality, which includes having your own ideas, not just in the virtual world.

love vivian and zoe chen guan sai :D

however, my dear sweeties, i have came across something which i could not deem as coincidence. i believe that by reading on, it would too come across as an irksome issue to your eyes.

standby with eyedrops (:

i like this sleepy picture for no reason

i dont need you to follow my cs set and claim others told you to purchase it.
i dont need you to lift and paraphrase my blog posts and layouts.
i dont need you to make a big fuss over my bf who has dumped you two years ago.
i dont need you to cut exactly the same hairstyle as me.

i dont need a replica. especially when it looks so artificial.

i dont need you to ruin my image.

a closer look at my pics would tell what's so different from my bangs as compared to others.

i forgot to tell you that you can't replicate your IQ.
especially for someone who's on the borderline of falling into the normal stream.

your failure to keep his love two years ago does not fall on my responsibility,
neither on his. pile onto the fact that it has already been two years since it ended.

suddenly reminded of beethoven's song - pathetique.
no spelling errors in that.

vivian and zoe.

i've yet to reach the end of my teether.

if sarcasm be the food of love, play on!

ILOVEYOUUU.

2009-02-20T23:41:00.009+08:00

twentieth of february.

♥ deh sweetest one on earth.
iloveyouuu.

ilovemylaogonggg ♥

changi airport and bugis junction for the afternoon.
luckily the keychain ring was still in stock. phew.
im such a blur squid.

bought that pair of black rings keychains though.

i swear creamy mushroom pasta is worth your money.
[not referring to the quantity though.]

christmas 2008.
[after we met up with aki.]

nutty loves her scanner! (X

i bet you being thrown into the normal stream is derived from your low IQ.
you're just making a fool of yourself.
think before you talk.
dont make me deem that you lack brains.
don't judge even before you have an IQ of 152 or 180
we would gladly entertain your thoughts which lack depth .
needless to mention that your age would not necessarily represent your maturity.
however, i would say you lack them.
you want a good example of maturity for your age?
take a look at ashleynicole, or otherwise known as kelly.
.

i pity your intelligence-deficit brain.

i enjoy criticising your ghastly and superficial personality.

[quoted by kelly]

my sarcasm has yet to reach its end.

COLINLEENEEDSALIFE.

2009-02-20T03:18:00.003+08:00

i seem to be loving my chinese blog more than my english blog. heh.

i have no idea why. maybe because i had nothing better to do

and changed the banner.

i look fat here when i just woke up on thursday morning T.T
unkempt hair.
messy blanket.
blur face.

fats at 37.9 kg!

oh. did i mention that i found yangjun and colin at msea bootes?

long lost schoolmates.
very late grats colin lee [vgoper] on level 200.
P.S. he badly needs a life (X help him [:

i love my koalabear ♥
twentieth february oh nine.

WHATSWITHRUNNYNOSE.

2009-02-19T02:48:00.005+08:00

bedtime post again.
down with the fever, unpredicted vomitting, as well as bad flu.
guess its the picnic ham?

i wonder why flu is termed as runny nose,
when its like, your nose doesnt even run.

busy pet society-ing and editing htmls' lately,
and like sinnoob papa's nuer, im another nocturnal sotowl.

sotong + owl.

my nails the other day.

and a number of collated pics.

nutty abhors the warm weather!

watch this.

goodnight my dear folks.

нαρρуναℓєηтιηєѕ∂αу.

2009-02-15T23:57:00.002+08:00

this wouldn't come across as a surprise, i suppose. since i've mentioned it a few weeks ago.

i revived my six year old chinese blog.
pfft. here it is.

and something random.

before i ramble on,
a late

to everyone ♥

deh fourteenth of february twenty oh nine.
[apologises for the lack of pictures]

parco bugis junction. bali lane. haji lane. botak jones.

i didn't know haji lane was known for a number of illegal activities though.
bali lane is where alice's 88th is located.

aaaah. im still craving for the black pepper chicken at this hour!
although it was quite a long queue there ]:

its tasty.

its yummy.

its tasty.

its yummy.

its tasty, its true.

im not bluffing.

[in attempt to make a replica of the valentines day mmv at facebook or podcast.sg]

ιℓσνєуσυ.αιѕнιтєяυ.αкυ¢ιηтαкαυ.
тσ∂αу.тσмσяяσω.αη∂ ƒσяєνєя.

dont eat the ferrero rochers till u get sore throat! ♥

kath said she liked this random pic o.O

but i prefer this.

goodnight and happy valentines day again to all ♥

BYENOLIFERS(X

2009-02-09T09:38:00.003+08:00

a post to kill time while waiting for our turn for the a&p project grades.
in other words, this post is going to be uber irrelevant.

i've no plain water to take my medicine! *oh fuuck*
add onto the fact of having only one hour of good sleep after perspiring in aircon temperature of 16 degrees celsius.

and the unluckiness of a bad hair day.

alright. whiney post to start the day off.

after fiddling at bannedstory for a while last night, i still doubt the need to return to the virtual world of maplestory.

slim chances though.

it's not as if i have nothing better to do ]: the game no longer seems fascinating. or maybe it is the sad fact that it's destroyed by a large number of childish and insensible kids.

yes, i mean kids.

hop onto the issue of guailan-ING. can't guailan in real life so you guailan others in game? however, this brings me to a sad fact that we have been seeing and experiencing since young.

the idea of materialism and deceit.

what we live in. what we gradually become. what we see in everyday life.

where's a bunch of lies, deceit, hong-ing and such going to get you huh? happy continuing to corrupt the young minds of even nine year olds.

yes, i mean it.

you want the future young kids or young adults to grow up in a ~~world of lies~~ huh? what does that goes to show? the planting of trees that come with rotten apples?

im mean. im direct. im sarcastic.
yet just stating the sad truth.

bye no lifers (X

THANKYOUS.

2009-02-08T02:24:00.005+08:00

am pretty much done with the revision for monday's advertising & promotion paper.
shall leave the report-reading to sunday else my mind's going to breakdown sooner or later.

♥ laogonggg ♥ kelly ♥ kath ♥ aki ♥ tea ♥ zoe ♥ ahjon

and ♥ whoever smsed/called/sent gifts and well wishes while i was in hospital [:

not resisting the temptation to fiddle around my msn codes

[afterall they are more interesting than my tablets]

and arrived at this

a big thankyou to aki aka unLOVEz [:

and as quoted by anthony,

1 last paper and 1 more role play to freedom

so true.

just for laughs.

hang in there everyone.
we're going to year 3 in a week [:

SURGICALWARD.

2009-02-07T02:15:00.004+08:00

back from the ward.
the operation theatre.
of disinfected surgical knives and equipment.

antiseptic that blinds you out.
the future seems bleak.

my life is only prolonged through a heart valve surgery.
yet, not for long i suppose.

well enough.
as much as i have heard, it was the electric currents that brought me back from a failed operation.
as a living, breathing human being.

the same way i survived in year 2000.

how long will this weak heart last?
half of it is no longer mine i suppose.
on the verge of throwing in the towel.

what lies in this empty-shelled body?
of useless organs that never operated well since young.

and now.
living mechanically.

however thanks to all who cared, who prayed, who sent gifts and called up. i'm trying my best to move around again, although i know well i will never be a normal, living and breathing human being like those around me.

♥for you who were always there rain or shine
♥for the love you showered
♥for the way you loved me for who i am
♥for all that you did for me

iloveyou ♥

a case of a weird yet thoughtful gift.
from tea - a set of cute medical stickers LOL.

shall have the pictures up the next time.
and its time for me to doze off to lalaland now thanks to the effects of the medicine.

goodnight ♥

FUUCKTARD.

2009-01-30T02:57:00.003+08:00

a tired and cranky me blogging here before i doze off to lalaland after editing horrible language that saw me squeezing and grinding all my brain juices out.

stop emphasising on how hardworking you are.
you took an extra year to get the same certificate as me.
yet that certificate doesnt even reflect half as well.
you attend all lectures and tutorials.
yet you fare below the mark.

your brain cells are producing way too slow and are working only half as productively as mine.

i've trying to keep my criticisms to myself.
reading your horrifying language leave us dead.

*craves for pork curry all of a sudden.

get an IQ test conducted on your head before you condemn a thing.
more than 152 then criticise la. use ur muthafarking brains to get things done pls.

hmm. i came across a handful of kids who couldn't design blogskins yet claimed it as their own design after uploading it onto their site. woots. downright stupidity?

REMINISCING.

2009-01-29T01:09:00.002+08:00

as far as i've blogged for a good five years if you have been reading since my first post, i realised that i've injected excessive amounts of sarcasm into every post that came along. or at least, 95% of them.

you can't blame it. im a literature student. i think i mentioned sarcasm some hundreds of posts before. hmm, maybe i should start digging up my sec 2-3 posts.

which were like, so fuucking superficial.

around sec three.

2006' birthday party at hans.

trip to chengdu every year.

before the first poly term started. with elaine at cityhall.

have no idea what she drew.

esther mugging for the first term o.O

my first close friend in year one.

halfway through year one after econs lecture with erina.

after presentation o.O

my best friend in game o.O zoe92. 70 over levels of being twins. a friendship not built on money. although we spend a whole lot of money on cash items.

brother tea at malacca.

this week.

单身潜逃

2009-01-26T03:20:00.002+08:00

我没有你想像中那么坚强
我只是擅长用微笑去伪装不是吗
我没有你形容的那么勇敢
我偶尔也会慌

我也和你一样曾经年少轻狂受了一点伤
我们都是一样相信永远不远但坚持却有点难

就让记忆中的爱慢慢烧
烧痛了我们就逃
带着现实的拷折叠我剩余的微笑

通往没有你的轨道

就让记忆中的你慢慢老
老去了谁也得不到
带着我的祈祷折叠我累积的问号
开始一次的单身潜逃

a ripped heart. 是我变了吗？

HOW GREAT.

2009-01-25T21:31:00.002+08:00

wow. how great can things get. im sitting infront of the tv armed with my laptop and a cup of lipton tea when reunion dinner is supposed to get underway. we're all stuck at home, not exactly all. should i seem surprised? even tea saw this coming and yet is indifferent about it. numbed in some way, matter-of-factly in another.

don't see the need to comment much and neither do i feel anything special about steamboat dining since years ago. its just a house that seems as if it keeps everyone together. how nice.

havaianas make good bedtime slippers. im not mad.

FUUCKER.

2009-01-24T16:06:00.004+08:00

aye. am here again.

cny's near the corner, with the piling projects coming to an end soon. phew. i need sleep badly. i think i look like a replica of a panda now, not horizontally though. didn't shop much for cny preparation due to the lack of time. dusted my desk after a good sleep, and sat there stealing snacks from the dining table as tea sliced the ba-gua (also known as bbq pork). the bbq pork, butter cookies, sambal belacan and titbits in the container didnt seem to increase just because i was busy munching away. oh wells. im munchydonuts, what do you expect? i munch on food. lots of it.

assignments drove me nuts over the week. i marvel at free loaders.

hello fuucker. nice reasons you've given to our groupmates, such that they have all been blindly fooled by your excuses. i wonder how food poisoning can last a good three weeks. and still attend work while you're sick. even if you dont want your grades, we want ours. having tournaments while we are rushing project deadlines? stop being a fuucking free loader. you claim you did the advertisement? im marvelling at how you can make such empty claims when maplestory isn't even installed in your com, when you don't even have the 'munchydonuts' account. and last minute heart problems. for goodness sake, if you have a weak heart then dont play b-ball. dont make us clear up after you shiit. thankyou.

i hate project work.

look what sai jie magicchaos01 aka xiaoying did - kouping sai po zoe's picture as his/her dp. i wonder what's sai jie's real gender LOL.

hmm. i wonder what went wrong at times. you love to stone. i guess that's your hobby. did you change, or did i fail to comprehend or notice something? is it another side of you that i've recently gotten to befriend? or to say, you saw another me? i wonder. the only constant in life is change, either i embrace it or succumb under it. im guilty of turning into a couch potato, doing nothing else except constantly eating n eating and eating and typing away on my keyboard. i dont mean to binge. i turn hungry easily, or start finding food to eat when i've nothing to do. im craving for barchormee at 401.

i guess that paragraph above is irrelevant.

adopted from sattva's blog:

你爱我吗? 我可以这样问你吗?

你爱我吗? 你给我的温柔是寂寞吗?

你爱我吗? 你心里还有遗憾吗?

你是真的爱我吗?

BEDTIMEPOST.

2009-01-18T04:34:00.003+08:00

a post before ~~bedtime~~. tired after getting done with the projects and designing the ~~advertisement~~ due for monday's presentation.

things not done:
cue cards for slides.
crm cue cards.
poster.

something out of ~~boredom~~.

looks more like a ~~piece of grass~~ than anything.
raah.

ILY.

FAGGOTS.

2009-01-12T01:55:00.002+08:00

i would kindly appreciate it if you ~~shut your trap~~, whatever reason it is for. if you need attention or money just speak. dont use such unscrupulous methods to get a mere 8 dollars from your son. ure forcing me to call you ~~cheapskate~~. or maybe, a faggot would sound better. and who wants to use ur ~~filthy mug~~? it isnt even worth 8 bucks! you need me to stuff money in your mouth? shove them down your throat? or throw them onto the floor for you to crawl towards them? furthermore i ain't even your child, ~~what right have you got~~ to ramble uber-nonsensical rubbish infront of your nephew? for goodness sake, i've never touched your very ~~'precious'~~ (puiii!) mug before. now i know what a ~~fake front~~ you've been putting infront of everyone all along. barf. i wonder how ~~mature~~ your thoughts are. forty plus year old behaving like four.

PIGGIENUT.

2009-01-09T23:51:00.002+08:00

my eye infection didnt ~~get any better~~. worst illness at the worst point of time - project ~~deadlines~~ in one to two weeks. raah. guess it was my long fringe that led to the infection so for the second or third time since 2004, i tried ~~bangs~~ again. grr. looks like a pig T.T

i feel ~~weird~~.

ailinghealth.

2009-01-08T02:39:00.002+08:00

of piling projects, tremendous lack of sleep and ailing health.

the road ahead doesn't seem clear enough for me to step on. i don't see light at the end of the tunnel. neither do i understand why i was born with such ~~ill health~~. it practically stopped me in my tracks for everything. no sports. no going out under the sun for long. ~~not even jogging~~. not even running past two shops. if these walls were to be painted white, i would be living my life completely on the endless ~~test tubes and glucose pipes~~, propped by a pillow leaning against the bed in the ward.

everytime i shut my eyes and ~~drift off~~ to lalaland or even blackout, i wondered when would i open them again. i couldnt even ~~breathe~~ when i reached class today. why is my health that bad? i cant even carry a mug filled with water using my ~~left hand~~. its like practically ~~semi-handicapped~~.

a heart that doesnt pump fast enough for you to breathe. weak lungs that cant even survive a ~~sprint~~. an arm that cant even lift a mug. a nose that constantly relies on ~~loads~~ of tissue paper. i wonder when i would give up everything. and now back ache piles onto this ~~weak health~~ of mine.

maybe the next part of life would see me ~~sitting in a wheelchair~~.
maybe not far from the future.

projects do kill. especially when your health gets ~~worse than it is now~~. deadlines are ~~a week~~ away. yet i have to sit infront of the laptop typing furiously away even when im running a ~~fever~~ and having sore eyes. raah!

had my ~~koala bear's~~ company when i went down to school for these few days. and he was busy styling the ~~plush toy~~ lion's mane and fixing his psp away while we had my project discussion and lunch. ms sue came by and commented about his nice hair. LOL. ~~nice long mane~~ *looks like the plush toy lion?

B>free hugs (:

IKEAAA.

2009-01-06T04:34:00.003+08:00

bus rides. cheddar cheese potato chips. queensway. ikea.

talked and talked.
giggled and giggled.

i never felt like this in a long time.
what does it ~~hold~~ in the future?

human desires can never be ~~fulfilled~~.
of bar-top kitchens, round beds and a mini refrigerator.

art of the day.

and my emo rabbit says ~~goodnight~~ to all late sleepers.

INSUFFICENT.

2009-01-05T03:22:00.003+08:00

why did the pages no longer turned on the same day and the same person? was it time that eroded everything? i cling onto memories. too much that they hurt. i tend to put the blame on myself. or at least i guess its my fault anyway. raaah. i shouldn't have said those words. when i realised that you dragged my hand instead of holding it. it just crossed my mind. it became so hurtful. what went wrong? ~~was the concern that i gave insufficient? or that i left you with no space to breathe?~~ everything seems normal on the surface now. yet im suffering inside. love dug the hearts inside out. why did i quarrel with you in the face on the tenth month of marriage? i never had the courage to do so. i never stood up to you cos i felt that i should respect you. yet why did things turn out like that? ~~i dont know. and i dont want to know.~~

*pause of emoness and end of ranting*

three weeks away from CNY. shopped a bit after a meal of chicken murtubak. thank me for not asking for ~~pork~~ (: didnt managed to finish it anyway. afterwhich i came across a nice top going at ~~69bucks~~. but after i bought it i felt that it looked like any ordinary long sleeved top. pfft. and before i end this off, grats magicchaos01 ahgua saijie on getting white tiger staff!

~~pm her for free ht necklace!~~

VAINPOTGRIGORI.

2009-01-04T03:06:00.003+08:00

a post before bedtime.

met up with seina the previous day at compass to give away a number 0f my prepaid card collection. oh my. i've spent like five thousands sgd over on an online game that is supposed to be free. ar wells. as people say, women ai sui ma. aka vain LOL.

*left speechless*

and seina commented that this msn dp looks emo.
~~i beg to differ~~.

w0nder h0w my hair turned out black. ewws. when its supposed to be like

seriously ~~no idea~~.

i dont mean black hair isnt good. its healthy. my current black-brown is due to the harmful sunlight. pfft.

evil koala bear.

rawr. vainpot azazel grigori. ~~donate me your long hair~~ ]:

~~heartBABY :B~~.

HAPPYNEWYEAR

2009-01-01T01:21:00.002+08:00

a happy new year to whoever is reading this :D and welcome 2009 :D

nutty's wishes for this year:
'better health
'nice grades
'baby to be happy
'happiness

gaigai-ed with aki on his trip to sg during xmas at bugis. i hereby declare AKI aka unLOVEz as FAT :D hope ue enjoyed your trip here although we dont make a good tour guide or host.

apologies for the lack of pictures.
im half awake.
rawr.

MISTLETOES.

2008-12-19T23:33:00.002+08:00

and here you go,

hereby presenting mister DODONUT.

the new ring introduced by asiasoft - mistletoe ring, and bought straightaway,
sitting at chnl 20 free market.

xHiatus.

2008-12-14T22:55:00.003+08:00

back after a short trip to malacca as well as having done away with the mid semester papers.

i was late for every paper yet left early. although it wasnt much of any brain raking tests, its the insecurity that binds me at times, which comes a few weeks after the papers end.

yet, everything seems to be going smoothly at this moment.

past moments in year one

where did it all go to?
the diploma selection for year 2 threw everyone into different classes. but even if it didnt, would all these still have remained?

i wonder.

days at malacca

room service at 11pm.

where it was once a dutch colony.

baby pillow dao wo ):

hotel room.

bored eeyore ):

jan this year.

on hiatus.

mega sai po zoe der priest 1O5 [:

nites folks! [:

<33 baby zhuzhu pillow [:

thBESTPARTOFMYLIFE

2008-12-03T23:47:00.004+08:00

long fieldwork day out, while dearest called after my lunch and we arranged the schedules for our holiday.

and the fieldwork was conducted at none-other than the BLANTANTLYRUDE,UBERYDISHONEST food republic which serves COLD DIM SUM and reeks of FOODCOURTSMELL. ew.

fk la. but at least joy, wanyi and i had lunch at coffeeclub at taka although MY MISO SOFT SHELL CRAB PASTA sucked to the core - the noodles were like, far worst than instant mee and only the crab tasted good?

pfft.

but good thing - the muddy mudpie tasted as good as always. heavenly :D

afterwhich the three of us visited this effing outlet of Food Republic which brands itself as a Food Atrium aka adding a touch of class to the normal Food Court at Wisma Atria. However, besides the entrance which looks pretty good and the stall-tender of 'Rainbow Lapis', everything else was just average. It did not come across as a Food Atrium or mini restaurant to me but just a food court with exceptionally bad service.

which includes rude staff and dishonest stallholders.

and there came this VERYHIGH-OH-MIGHTYMANAGER who stopped us from taking pics of FR for our fieldwork which is like wtf? FR assigned us to think of recommendations to improve their outlets and here there is one EFFING manager ranting away like no tomorrow.

first recommendation : GIVE HIM THE SACK :D

left with no choice, we sat down at some bench and since there was no way we could take pictures, we had to turn to our last resort which was sketching ):

last stop - FR outlet at suntec city.

everything was good except..
there were more books than food.
the dimsum was COLD.
the cleaners were slacking away as if it was a holiday for them.
rawr. COLD PRAWN DUMPLINGS!
effing bad.
the worst dim sum i ever had.

and from FORTUNATE RESTAURANT SOMEMORE ):

ended the long fieldwork at around 730pm. finally.

zhuzhu ure the best part of my life :D

HARTSallOVERderWORLDtonite

2008-11-29T23:43:00.003+08:00

nine months.

stared hard at the calendar in disbelief.
married for nine months.

time really flies when one is busy.

it was lav and helen's wedding that day and i was in some bad mood that day after someone left me sitting at free market room 7 and went to get his zak helm ): so i sat there and emo-ed and emo-ed and emo-ed and someone came back with his helm and i said grats but deep inside i was upset *definitely, uh?* and we attended lav's wedding after which i was left sitting at fm and emo-ed with jinghui and chik and the love megas for valentines day spammed and spammed across msea-bootes and filled the chatbox.

chik *to whichever gf he dated at that time*:
i want you to drink my blood, and feel the love inside~

and afterwhich someone came online again at a good 9pm and realised that i was in a bad mood cause he left me sitting there and went for his "VALY IMPORTANT ZAK HELM" and chik, papa and jiejie scolded him for what he did. hurtful ): and so that someone apologised, saying that he didnt know it mattered so much. and we went to sit at amoria where he told me not to go offline - "i go do quest" and i tracked and tracked..

and tracked him hunting stuff *till now i dont know what exactly he was told to hunt* at ant tunnel and he didnt allow me to leave amoria so i sat there and stoned. and stoned. and stoned.

suddenly this popped up in party-chatbox:
"dear u like moonstone or goldheart?"

OMG.
i never expected that ):
i thought i would spend the whole day emo-ing and sitting and staring at the wall ):

after much consideration i chose moonstone which gives a +5 to your current walking speed.

"will you cook for me;

(me: i dont know how to cook unless u mean instant noodles)

wash my clothes;

(me: use washing machine :D)

hug me;

(me: i always do o.O)

love me smelly;

(me: i love you just the way you are xP)

and let me love you?"

(*shocked*)

-wedding village, amoria, 14th february 2008-

honestly, sweet zhuzhu, i was laughing when i saw u type that in the party-chatbox while i was getting my supper. heh (:

i remember.

that i was pretty much emo-suicidal prone whenever problems started knocking up the door. i would either lock myself up and not talk to anyone and start fiddling with a blade and end up ugly red lines and droplets would start forming around my left wrist yet due to my anemia aka severely low blood pressure, i always ended up failing to die from any attempt of trying to end a word called life. i didnt want to solve. or it seemed impossible to be solved. i would sit in a corner wondering hard at why things turned out that way. or why you behaved in some way that i was unable to comprehend. or why when things looked perfect at first, it turned out to be nothing more than wrist slitting and emotional struggles, especially during the 'time of the month' that you ended up noticing and would give in nevertheless. of the many times i cried. the times i wanted to end things there. where i felt that i could take things no longer. where our r/s looked as if it wouldn't propel forward anymore. especially when work and studies leave the other party neglected.

i asked for a breakup almost every one or two weeks after marriage got its way on the 29th of february. when your presence and love would at times be replaced by two things - a 3karat moonstone ring and a cupid ring. its right to say that i'm one who heavily relies on the sense of touch. bonding emotionally was what always backed me up when the thought of giving up disturbed me at times. especially when you're busy with work and end the day feeling dead beat and wanting nothing more than a rest.

at times i felt useless cause i couldn't do anything to lessen your workload. i often wondered what i could do besides giving emotional support and being there for you everytime. whenever u cried or turned moody due to stress from work or said that you had no appetite for meals. or at times when you just didnt wish to talk and just wanted to be left alone. although many say that you should leave your bf alone when he emos or doesnt want to speak, i feel that if things go that way, i would not be doing my part as a gf and i wouldn't be happy seeing you emo-ing your way alone through the night by smoking.

like how you dont want to hear me saying "very emo.. just leave me alone for awhile" and how you want to be there.

nine months.

iloveyou my smellyzhuzhu pillow' x33

DIMSUMCRAVINGS.

2008-11-27T22:39:00.002+08:00

EIGHT MORE DAYS ((:

i haven't packed my luggage.
i haven't sorted what to pack and what not to.

i cant wait.
i love my babyzhuzhu pillow x3.

have been frequently bistro walk lately after discussions and meetings.
i think the waffle is dead addictive.

add on ice cream and chocolate sauce and maple syrup.

but i couldnt finish the carbonara today again, maybe because the cheese is too filling ): rawrrrr.

im craving for dimsum at this hour.
hmm. ding tai fung (:

EMOTIONALBREAKDOWN.

2008-11-25T21:48:00.003+08:00

of overwhelming projects that suffocate.

de-cluttered the stack of papers and notes sitting at a corner of the table. was too tired last night that i ended up dozing off before ten and woke up at eleven in the morning. pfft.

never-ending deadlines end the day with the f-word. rawr.

advertising and promotion.
retail management.
customer relationship management.
integrated marketing project 1.
internet marketing.

RAWR.

babyzhuzhu not feeling well again after eating some wrong food T_T poor thing babypigpillow get well soon ): or no one take care of smellydonut ):

it does feel better to get the tasks written and settled out ; at least i feel clearer about what's going on and such. dining out late everynight now leaves me feel that i'm lagging behind badly.

addition of semi-quiting the current MMORPG for the time being due to the workload.
rawr. i have no idea. its getting far too boring.

sorry folks for being awfully emo that day.
the workload is killing.

i can take it no longer.

how much further do you want me to take care of such a heavy workload with the consistent illness that constantly repeats?

the doctor already said that there is no cure.
i dont know what more do you want.
maybe to you, only the grades matter.
call yourself a teacher -.-
even when i'm having viral fever u constantly pile stress and work on me.

i doubt the true meaning of student welfare.
i'm not a robot. i too have a life to live.
and not just plainly doing all the workload that you think should be done.

i need to rest too.

you know what's an MC for?
its for the patient to rest. not to work like fk and sleep only 4-6 hours a day.

*emotional breakdown*

add on : left bone injury on the arm -.- careless me.

'munchydonuts' is currently at 'In front of the screen : Munching Apple Pies'.

i finally found the song i was looking for all these while!

陳慧琳 - 伶仃

DEADSICK.

2008-11-21T17:03:00.002+08:00

a post before i go off for dinner.

feel so sick again. im constantly bugged by illness. sinus, fever, headache and all related symptoms which leave me sighing away. no one wants to live a life that relies on pills everyday.

let the pills form a long piping tube,
like a glucose bag hanging at the patient's ward.

add on the fact of being anemic.
it doesnt leave my life any better.

pills and medication here and there.
its no different from living in a hospital ward except that i have my laptop and my celly beside me and that assignments continue to pile due to my inability to recover fast enough.

on average, im falling sick every two weeks and taking 5-7 days to recover from each illness. and the mid sems are just three weeks away. time flies when u fall ill.

*shows indifference to being bed ridden*

and here's what has not been fully completed
-Adidas questionnaire (20respondents)
-Internet marketing posting at facebook
-Communication skills forum thread
-Retail management swot analysis

save me from the living dead.

PASTFEWDAYS.

2008-11-18T21:32:00.011+08:00

lagged and got this -.- guess who i clicked that gave me this lag (:

sweetest' x3.

my vista lappie survived zak b3 and helmed on 12november!

kath's [xNov3mb3r] bday :DD on 14th nov :D happy sweet seventeen!

lavine got burnt black :D

nat caught sleeping~

botak tea! *waste cash do metro hair n use bald wig for what?*

o.O blitz tastes good?

lavine admit she's naughty *uh oh*

piggy lavine =x

past few days
went buy my pink-black havaianas with kor at cityhall after my brown-blue pair snapped. i have no idea how it snapped at the edge, maybe due to misuse although i swear i didnt abuse it! dearest pillow has been emoing lately and i feel bad cause as his gf i cant do anything much to cheer him up.

SMELLYPILLOW I Y YOU x33

barchormee and barchormee and barchormee.
and cans of jollyshandy.

finally the cashier didnt check my ic when i buy jollyshandy (:

and back online, it was nothing more than earning mesos, slacking at free market, mega-ing friends who levelled and kill-steal (KS) wars. sigh, why cant maplers wake up earlier to find slots instead of raiding?

CommonDirt.

2008-11-11T17:16:00.002+08:00

before i leave for my dinner, heres a post from yours truly.
adapted from playpark forums thread page 51, click for the link

a short description of
channel 20 free market!

credits to xmemorialx/ saphira4597 (:

more posts to be up in the next 24hours! (:

FASHION PLATFORM CC20 FM

2008-11-09T13:18:00.006+08:00

aww. fk. photobucket is not working, else i could upload the pictures. do remind me (:

meanwhile, i've made that unreversible decision to level up my storage assassin to level 52, therefore it will no longer be eligible for the monster carnival. this change was made to comply with DF's raising level requirement for guild members. oh well, maplesea is boring me to death anyway. its just like a fashion platform.

especially, channel 20 free market.

as quoted by moonlitebaby, its a fashion platform where all the copycats and twinnies appear. and not forgetting the desperates searching for matchmaking sessions. rofl.

and and!

tea found his twin. zomfg i couldnt believe this. GMBZentaur.

"if i delete my colleagues in my bl, they will come after me =x"

-.-

people. they come and they go. i no longer know what a guild means to gamers. just as backup for KS war? for prestige? for helm and ht-necklace service?

or, coming straight to me after entering DF and ask "what level then can be jr master?"

it turns me off at times. i wonder what a guild means to you. if it comes across to you just as a helming guild, then i would not stop you from leaving DF, cause we do not provide such service, or even if we do, it would not serve its purpose as a guild. however, this is not a hotel, so i wont go up to you and ask for your return if there is no special reason.

sighs. those who really love being in a guild will stay, such as those who are not even jrs. those that people say are really tiong xim der F3.

me wan go down ergoth!

finally levelled zoe's cleric to lvl 61. pfft. healing is so not for me - imagine healing and with monsters constantly whacking you *tries to imagine how people can actually have the patience to train to bishop class*

--

types of smellypillows - bad pillow, naughty pillow, chatty pillow, sleepy pillow, huggable pillow, piggyback pillow (:

smellypillow : japanese pronounce words without the L, so,
clock = ?

that very day when it rained some time ago
and we shared a dark blue umbrella
all the way to the mrt station

of hot chocolate marshmellows
of lift rides overseeing the whole country

i often wondered why the first hug was always the most memorable.
maybe because it came across as the most sincere.

yet everytime you hugged.
i never forgot.

ILY MY SMELLYPILLOW <3

COPYDOGS

2008-11-07T11:10:00.003+08:00

back again blogging in campus library.

kor, siaopo zoe, lavine, kath and i really need wash our eyes with dettol F3 cause we saw too many disturbing stuff.

especially: NOOBS WITH NO CREATIVITY.

no creativity to think of your own design so keep copy? dont claim that you did not, we do have all the screenshots. even when you begged me and jocelyn to be your so called twinnie.

from your changing of DEFAULT EYES AND DEFAULT HAIR COLOR to look exactly the same, we have not breathed much. If not for kind magem4ster and lee834, i would not have bothered to close one eye at many moments.

here are the examples, screenshots to be included in the next post for reader's eyes and as evidence of some NOOB FIFTEEN YEAR OLD.

first combo made
bunny slipper
chiffon top
plitz skirt
mdas weapon
heart balloon
heart ribbon glove
radea hair
face 4

second combo made, by zoe92
pink starry beanie
cutie suspender shorts
bunny slipper
heart ribbon glove
seal pillow
radea hair
face 4

third combo made
paper bag and bear earmuff
blue pajama top
penguin slippers
snowflake shield
snowflake staff
starry tattoo glove
radea hair
face 4

fourth combo made
rose hair
face 4
white beanie
hotpink backpack
pink frill pajama top
bunny slippers
seal pillow
heart tattoo glove

fifth combo made *made before first*
pink mini dress
butterfly staff
bunny slippers
bear earmuff
hotpink backpack
radea hair
face 4

sixth combo made
rose hair
face 4
blue sailor dress overall
penguin slipper
butterfly staff
white beanie
still want claim u were ORIGINAL? use some sense please. get a life and get some creativity.

<33>

XDD.

2008-11-04T02:20:00.004+08:00

long time since i wrote, i couldnt find the spare time to sit down, clear my thoughts and write a clean post that would see me not injecting sacarsm at times. that day i turned eighteen ; that four days later of which moved into eight months of marriage ; the changing of fourth job advancement to arch mage..

twenty fifth october;
fourth job advancement and skill hunting thanks to
-valerie (peaaaaa)
-cheeng (dracuiaz)
-cutiecappy
-sis (ilurbbsher)
-jehina
-zoe92
-kor (doshihao)
-mines (mytoothdked)
-jinghui (heavenxanqel)
and thanks all who megaed / grats especially my ~~smellypillow, lavlav and iHateDmg~~ (:

'cause you called at five minutes to midnight and was the first to wish me a happy eighteen and grats on fourth job advancement after a long wait.
'cause you were always there come what may.
'cause you always call unexpectedly when im about to level up :D
'cause you color every single day of mine.

cable car rides to sentosa - thanks kor and loy kor ^^ sad case of having bad pollution that day ._. *pictures htm students madly gaming in hostel*

twenty-ninth october;
eight months of marriage, of squabbles n tears, of happiness, or that everything i can give to you. i realise i reduced the tendency to 'emo', maybe due to having
listening ears and that i've learnt to trust, thats why i didnt feel that cramped up all day. as we move into november, and as time takes its vicious cycle, this marriage takes on a test of nine months;

i dont know about the future, but i'll love you till the day i cease to exist.

iloveyou smellypillow 'x33

someLOVE.

2008-10-08T13:18:00.003+08:00

alright. maplesea network maintenance ~~AGAIN~~ after not even a week? sounds pretty f-ed up, no idea what's wrong with the system anyways. pfft. last night, at the time of 2300 hours, asiasoft disconnected all of us from the system. good game, time to switch the chatbox to msn, which undoubtly left us with a screen with nothing but just words flying here and there and two little display picture boxes at the ~~right ends~~ of the chatbox.

i suppose i'm a sotowl - as quoted by sinnoob92 papa, sotong + owl. i couldnt get to sleep even after everyone was off the msn chat and the whole night was quiet. seriously not hoping that i suffer from any hyper-activity, although teachers once said i did. even after messaging my smellypillow that it was time to go to lalaland, i tossed around and ended up waking in the ~~middle of the night~~ rummaging through files and found, my very first piece of mandarin writing five years ago.

rummaged and found it. re-wrote it. thought through it. it was meant to be a fan-club letter to alessandro nesta, ac milan's center-back aka defender. i was ~~thirteen~~ then, 2003. yet, i swear he's worth idolising till today. disbelief, that i wrote that at age thirteen, or to say, twelve and a half. that was that moment when ken started labelling me as an "emo-depressant writer" because all my pieces were so "blue", so "emo", so "azurri".

i never knew why, the azurri always left me blue till today, even my maplesea-virtual character is almost all blue.

here's that fan-club love, re written on old foolscap.
the papers may have turned into sheets of crummy yellow pieces, yet,
till today, i stand by that fact that,
alessandro nesta rocks.

挽着生活的沉重和太多的眷恋，你来到了那片缀满星辰的天空。你终于在这个轻云淡淡的季节里披上了红黑军团的戒装，于是乎，多少关于忠诚与善良的争议，多少关于理想和信念的设想，多少关于幸福和欢乐的追求，多少关于失落与悲伤的思索，都在这一瞬间铺进了昨日的惨梦里。。。

自从你被＂挂牌＂起，我就开始默默关注你的每一点消息，漫长的等待，忽而高兴，高兴你马上就要找到生命新的驿站，忽而忧伤，忧伤你在去与留之间受到的煎熬。当我读到你终于投入了米兰怀抱的消息时，字字都使我哭泣，但我品尝出来了，那是甜蜜的泪水。在我心中，内斯塔与AC米兰的携手是恒古以来最完美的契合。由此，我从内心深处发出了秋天的第一抹微笑。

而你，为何还紧锁双眉呢？

我深深的知道，岁月有情，那一幕幕往事并不能轻易就从回忆中抹去。你一出生就注定是拉齐奥的人，你还每做好更多的心理准备，拉齐奥队长的袖标就套上了你翩翩少年的手臂，而联赛杯冠军和超级杯王冠是对你成长的最好回报。所以，即使拉齐奥不得不把你推向市场以拯救俱乐部时，你还是对这个俱乐部情深意重，无法割舍多少年孕育的感情与牵挂。

双鱼座的你性格温和，多愁善感，没有＂机会主义大师＂的花心，亦没有罗马王子的威风霸气，你甚至有一点点＂妇人之仁＂。当你１７岁时在场上铲伤一位对手，你曾经暗暗发誓：要不断提高自己的球艺，做到抢球不伤人，但从此之后，经常受伤的却成了你。。。

如今，当早晨的第一缕阳光洒向大地，米兰用她那若有若无的双手抚慰你受伤的心灵，罗马的春梦景色迷人，但米兰的秋色也令人心碎，在这里，我相信，你会实现更多的冠军梦，拥有更多金光灿灿的奖杯。人们已在讨论，那一条曾经威震世界的米兰防线因你的到来而得到了复活，而米兰王朝的复兴也令她的拥趸们欣喜若狂。肯定会有一天，当米兰王子保罗功臣身退后，你就会成为新的米兰队长，一切就会显得那么自然，那么完美。

天色的黄昏不属于你，季节的冬寒也不属于你，你应属于成熟的秋日。当菊花遍开的时候，你为何还不绽放你的迷人微笑？

你的微笑会是亚平宁秋日里温暖的亮点，过去是罗马，现在是米兰。

在这金色的季节里，我一直在等待着你秋天的微笑。

*pardon my rotten chinese.*

looks more like some love letter towards the end *baff*.

by the time i finished re-writing it after tearing up several pieces of white paper, it was a good 2.30am in the morning. pfft. my sleep.

people said u would not live your life with any regrets if you were to treasure every moment that u had. i regret not noting and remembering down in details every time u showered love, practically everyday. i took that for granted, every sms, every call, everytime u showed up, i never felt that time was enough for me to hold onto everything, every moment.

like every moment of love.

i wasted time off in the past emoing whenever u were busy with ur tasks by hiding away somewhere and at times felt like some ~~teddybear~~ that u locked away in the wardrobe whenever u didnt need it. now, this love takes on its 8th month of marriage, bound with squabbles, emo-ness and sweet moments.

to love like everyday would be the last, such that we would not regret.
to make the most out of every moment, every message, every call.

iloveyou my smellypillow <3

THISISPATHETIC.

2008-10-02T23:47:00.004+08:00

finally, a good 115, 5 more levels to go ; yet i've ran out of energy.
the maple maintenance is a good time to rest my mind.
maybe not.

i've received this screenshot from my guildmate, heres the situation:

sky244's party plays against xnov3mb3r (my guildmate) in the monster carnival (mc).
halfway thru, sky asked for xnov3mb3r to summon monsters for her party (pt) as sky's party was losing the mc, yet we all know that such summoning depends on both the consent of the two parties in the mc.

so feipohlim, in xnov3mb3r's party, said no, and ended up winning the mc game.

yet, this is what sky244 said after her pt lost the mc game:

heres the link, in case u cant see clearly:
http://i269.photobucket.com/albums/jj64/rhythm0flove/proof1.jpg

does it make sense to hurl vulgarities after an mc game?
u willingly participated in it.

think it through, defaming , ks and mega war doesnt leave you any benefits.
it just shows how pathetic you are as person and a gamer.

DOWNFALL OF MSEA.

2008-09-24T15:26:00.002+08:00

recently edited pictures;

lao zoe and lao donuts since nub moments (like 1 year ago?)

lav1ne and iavine ^^ at amoria

school library basement - "smoking campus???"

pretty unexpectedly chose ~~marina square's seoul garden~~ for dinner with smellypillow on thursday ; i didnt realise we were wearing the same as we did on march 11 ._. kind of coincidence. although there was a sign saying "~~please do not play with your food~~", we didnt finish the dessert (i'm an idiot when it comes to crushing blocks of ice in the machine). i had no idea how much nata de coco we dumped into the dessert bowl ; except that he threw a big chunk of ice into the bowl after claiming that the dessert made was too sweet =x munchydonuts had to eat "not-so-sweet" sugar-reduced dessert ._.

it takes ~~two hands to clap~~ in every relationship and effort to maintain ; even an sms where u bother to put in some effort to make it nicer for the other party and make the r/s better ; i really appreciated all that, my smellypillow' x33 ure forever so sweet (except when ure emoing ^^) i love you (:

*donuts punched zoe and left her eye bruised* (punch again ^^)

i pretty much didnt manage to game for ~~one week~~ ; maybe its a good thing - the game was getting boring anyway. hackers surfacing now and then; u log in to see the unexpected thing - that your game character is left naked without a single cent (or meso). its so disappointing that gamemasters have not gotten rid of such problems. at this rate, more people are at risk of getting trojan hacks and such. yes, some gamers chose to use the way of ~~getting banned~~ so that it prevents the risk of getting hacked, but it feels horrible seeing your buddies getting banned one by one in attempts to protect themselves. at such moments, should gamemasters not provide free seal locks for the current gamers to seal up their items? the gaming population of maplesea is already depleting to a pathetic ~~40%~~, what more do gamemasters wish to see? it's unsafe to game, it's unsafe to log out at the free market, and with increasing lagginess, i would rather maplesea stop functioning for a certain period of time until its safe from hacking.

we gamers want a clean, safe game, we dont mind paying more cash as long as ITS SAFE. if the case is such that u increase more maps, more npcs, more quests and at times free 2x experience points and yet we get this equation:
(consider that maplers buy 2x exp coupons during free 2x to enjoy 4x exp)

4x exp 8x lag 16x die 32x dc?

is it not a waste of your loyal customers' money?

i paid 4k SGD not to experience lagginess, disconnections, and hacking cases.

i would rather msea does not have any additional patches and fix the hacking and lagginess.

the once popular map of "dangerous sea gorge 1" and "mysterious path 3" 's are EMPTY.

are we supposed to sit infront of the screen awaiting the downfall of maplesea?

i hope not.

*anyway, thanks to GMBNephine for the help on hackers ^^

PIGOUT.

2008-08-27T16:36:00.003+08:00

the art of hibernation.
master level - 38hrs by smellypillow.

i guess its the nice long rain and the lack of thunderstorms that left me sleeping till 2pm in the afternoon for 3 days straight even though tomorrow is mbs and ba2 paper. and munchydonuts is practising the 'art of hibernation' by sleeping for so long. i hope time doesnt turn me into a pig ^@^

sitting infront of the laptop and the sunlight's turning glaring yet im not pulling any binds as it would seem like near-bedtime again. hopefully i will get to leech for the next week. its true that i lack the patience to train. oh wells.

other than that. life's down to some attempts to bake another oreo cheesecake and hopefully some muffins from tea.

tea o tea. you make great muffins. and you go well with muffins too.

EMPTY xP

2008-08-25T18:07:00.003+08:00

munchydonuts. one oh seven. thirteen more to go.

thankyou jiefu and jie for the leeching slot on saturday. wo ai ahbao *xlbabybaolx* too. earned a good amount of mesos and an elquines skill bk 2. pillow pillow is finally feeling better xD dont overtire yourself again TT ~~i dont know how to put it across.~~ im bad when it comes to such stuff. i believe only actions can prove a person's love. not words. not presents. not money. but actions.

im still busy designing the 2nd season pictures and blogskins so it would most probably take around a week. and if anyone wishes to have some customized pictures to send to your loved ones its going at 1k acash / 1 sgd each, ya?

~~*dead bored*~~

i like having nothing much lying around on the table cause i have a sensitive nose, but it always leaves me feeling empty. now, theres only a ~~laptop, a watch, a pencil stand, and my cellphone.~~

pillows. candies. ice creams. popcorns and chocolates make me think of you xD.
such emptiness sometimes induces unhappy thoughts in the brain. ~~empty thoughts.~~

and i came slowly to realise that, the sixth month is around the corner. so fast. six months of marriage. as an emo-prone, noisy, chatty, whiney and crappy laopo of urs. cause you just tahan everything without scolding me that badly. hmm, although u do, abit xP.

i love you smellypillow.